Breanna updates

Update Date's

Tuesday October 18, 2005 Breanna Rose Was rushed once again to the Urgent care. The week before this she had been there and was at that time diagnosed with dehydration. Tuesday the symptoms still hadn’t gotten better, and had even regressed. While at Urgent care Tuesday, they performed some more tests, one being a CAT scan. The results of this showed a tumor in Breanna’s brain. She was rushed to Children’s Hospital by ambulance, with both her parents along side her.

Upon the arrival at Children’s Hospital Breanna was unable talk and didn’t really comprehend anything. The doctors decided to have her go to the E.R. to allow them to best diagnose her condition. She could recognize different family members but couldn’t speak. The tumor was located on and around her frontal lobe of the brain which controls speech. In the E.R. intense tests were done, one of them was an MRI. This was done to better show the doctor’s the map of Breanna’s brain and the intensity of the tumor. The results of this test were devastating. Showing that the tumor was cancerous and ranged from her brain down her spine. This was a huge disappointment, but her Christ filled family focused on “Victory”. By the time these results were in, her family and her church family and friends were there for comfort and support. When the results were back, the news was shared with the family and friends. The family was hurt, but turned their fears over to the Lord. They decided they would all pull together, and give their worries, fear, and the entire situation over to God.

Top of Page The following day October 19,2005 the doctors ran a blood test to see if they could find any information about what kind of cancer Breanna had. That test didn’t show any information, so they opted for a full body scan to see if Breanna had cancer anywhere else in her body. Thank the good and gracious Lord, there was no other cancer. However to get a clear indication of what kind of cancer was in her body, they needed to perform Brain Surgery on her to biopsy the tumor. This would be very risky, and was a huge risk. The family was told she might not make it through surgery because the swelling in the brain, but again her family and friends held her up to the Lord and prayed for the power of God to strengthen Breanna and help the anesthesia not harm her. They prayed for comfort and trust, for good news, and a for the doctors to get a good biopsy. They also prayed to bless the hands and minds of the specialists performing the surgery. The surgeon that performed her brain surgery is known world wide.

Top of Page On Thursday October 20, 2005 she fearlessly went into surgery. When asked by the doctor if she had questions or concerns, she said “No, my family is more worried than me.” She was so strong, and completely fearless. The surgeon called after about 3 ½-4 hours into surgery to let us know that she was doing great and they had gotten 2 good biopsies from her that he personally was in the process of walking down to the lab. They had to check right away to make sure they got enough of the tumor for the biopsy and they did. While in surgery they inserted a double lumen subclavian line. (also known as an i.v. directly into her chest leading to her heart) A short time later she was in the recovery room, and the doctor had come in to let her family know she made it through, and praise God, she was going to make it back up to the 5th floor where oncology was located, rather than being sent to ICU. This was such a mile stone that was accomplished by little Breanna. The surgeon also was able to find out that the type of cancer Breanna had was treatable. He told us that the next day she would be given a huge dose of chemo. This would be the maximum amount that her body could handle. This amount was critical to give her immediately because if not the tumor was still growing rapidly. The growth of the tumor put more pressure on the brain causing intense pressure on her brain causing it to swell. This in turn would cause her to have a loss of speech, and could prevent her from being able to breath on her own. However if the chemo was given to her it would be hard for her body to handle and could also make her brain swell and cause the loss of speech, breathing, and possibly be fatal. Knowing the options, it only made sense to give her the chemo, because either way her brain would swell, but only the chemo would start to shrink the tumor that would soon shrink the swelling in her brain.

Top of Page October 21, 2005 she was given her first dose of chemo. Her vitals stayed good and her body was responding well. However during the chemo treatment they had to give her fluids through her i.v. this caused her brain to swell slightly. A little after the chemo treatment she had a little scare with her breathing. She slowed way down, then stopped breathing for a moment. The doctor rushed in and decided that she should be moved down to the ICU where she would be better monitored and have more invasive treatment as needed. While he was there she started breathing again, and was given oxygen to help her out. So we prayed with her and sent our love with her as we watched them push her bed down the hall. During this time she was in high spirits and was playing with a stuffed dog that was given to her earlier that day. As they pushed her bed from her room on 5th floor to the elevator, down to ICU, Breanna was accompanied by her oncology/neurology doctor, ICU doctor, 3 nurses, her mom, dad, and two sisters. Once we reached the elevator only her dad and medical personnel were able to go with her from the elevator down to ICU. On the way down, as they reached ICU, Breanna had a seizure. This was not a long seizure, or an intense seizure, but the doctors decided to intervene. They intubated her, and gave her medicine for the seizures, and to make her sleep. She was now medically in a semi-coma. Her family knew that she was in Gods hands and that he had placed special surgeons to help her. Breanna was also not able to respond to the doctors since she was “asleep” so they needed a different way to gauge the pressure in her brain. They decided to place a gauge reader in her head that would best show the pressure in her brain. When they first put it in her head the pressure was at 60. No one should be over 20 and most of us have a gauge of 5. So they adjusted her medicine and the pressure went down to 10!!! Praise the Lord, again she jumped another hurdle. The family was able to go in and see her 2-3 at a time, but when her parents went in and just barely said “Hi sweetie” her pressure jumped to 44. Her parents immediately left and didn’t talk to her or touch her to avoid the pressure to go up. The nurse said the pressure went up because she was able to hear and recognize their voices. This was a good thing that she could hear them, but due to the gauge indicator, she was best left alone. Her pressure went back down to 8 and her family was able to go in and look at her but chose not to try to talk to her or touch her. Breanna’s vitals were strong and going great. The next chemo would be given to her the next day, and now the times were getting more critical for her. Once the chemo starts to work, it kills the cancer cells. When this happens that cells grow before they are destroyed, and this can cause intense swelling in the brain. This is most critical time for her, the doctor said if she can make it to Tuesday, she will have a 50/50 chance of survival.

Top of Page October 22, 2005, this morning Breanna’s vitals were doing good and she was stable. Over night she had an increase with pressure in her brain that was quickly controlled. Her mom and brother went in to see her and it went down 4 points, however when they left it went high again. So as of this morning and until further notice, no family or friend, including her parents are allowed back to see her. Even though the visitor wouldn’t talk or touch her, they said she will know they were there. She is highly sedated, but she can hear footsteps and can tell if they are family or medical personnel. October 22, 2005,she has received her dose of chemo for today and is stable. The surgeons made it clear a few times over that things could change in a split second for the worse, and Breanna would then have to get the top of her skull cut off (craniotomy), put in a drug induced coma, or even death. However her family and friends in Christ are standing strong in their faith with the Lord and know he is holding Breanna in his arms with his warrior angels all around her.

Top of Page UPDATE: October 23, 2005 the doctor said Breanna is doing great. In fact she is better than expected. Her ICP (inner cranial pressure) is currently 0. I know this sounds scary since our ICP is 5, but the doctor said that is fine, and great because it is relieving a lot of pressure. The ICP fluctuates as normal, and her parents were able to see her today. One of the nurses said this could be a sign that her tumor is going down. Tomorrow Oct. 24th they will be doing a CAT scan to see any changes, and progress. She is still on life support but should hopefully be coming off soon. Today is truly a gift from God, we all need to remember that.

Top of Page Update: October 23, 2005 Breanna is in stable condition. She got her last dose of chemo. They had to interrupt it because her ICP was elevated. Once that went down they were able to continue the chemo. She was then stable. Last night about 9:00 her oxygen levels dropped and they weren’t sure what was wrong, but they soon found out it was due to a lazy lung. This was fixed by adjusting the machine and turning her on her side. She then became stable again, but still remains on life support.

Top of Page Update: October 24, 2005 (a.m.) Breanna is having a good day. Still on life support, they were going to start weaning her off, but they decided to wait until tomorrow. They also starting to feed her today through a tube in her nose. This may elevate her ICP but the doctors are optimistic that it can be controlled. The doctors want her off everything by Friday because her white blood cell count will lower. She looks beautiful though. Her nurse was able to put some bows in her hair. When they did her brain surgery they put shampoo in her hair to sanitize the surgical incision, they were unable to rinse it out so her hair is stiff. So last night the nurse fixed her hair and put bows in it. When I went in to see Breanna her ICP went down when I talked to her. She just looks good. I also encourage her that she is getting better and will soon be able to sit up and talk to us. The nurse said she can hear us so I make sure to always talk positive and encourage her.

Top of Page Update: October 25, 2005 a.m. About 1:00 a.m. Breanna’s nurse noticed that Breanna looked a little flush. So she went in to take her temperature and it was 104 degrees. She also had an elevated blood pressure. So ,they decided to do another CAT scan and they also wanted to do another spinal tap. The spinal tap would allow them to see if there was infection in the spinal fluid, due to the elevated body temp. There were some risks in doing to spinal tap, but thankfully nothing bad happened. The results from that are: There was no infection in her spinal fluid, and the first time they did the spinal tap last Wednesday, There were 50 tumor cells. Today she had 3. This is a good sign that the chemo is working. The CAT scan showed no new growth and a possible shrinking in size of the tumor, although they said it was hard to tell. Shortly after this and some antibiotics, her temperature went down to 101 degrees.

Top of Page October 25, 2005 p.m. Breanna’s temp is now 98.6 degrees. The nurse told me that her blood pressure was still pretty high and the doctor said this was probably due to her body fighting off the bad cells and the chemo. As long as her blood pressure doesn’t go any higher, she will not be treated for it. Tonight around midnight they are going to start weaning her off the sedation medicine. They have to do it slowly. She is still responding well to the feedings, and all in all is doing great.

Top of Page Update: October 26,2005 Breanna is doing well. Her ICP spiked up about 3 times during the night. It got as high as the 20's and 30's. They tried to slow the sedation medicine, but were unsuccessful since her ICP kept rising. This morning she is doing well, but her white blood cell count is already dropping due to the chemo. The doctors have decided to remove the ICP monitor (bolt in her head) to help prevent an infection since her white count is low. The nurse said Breanna is doing good though, and they still plan to slowly wean her off life support. Over the next few days.

Top of Page Update: October 26, 2005 P.M. Today Breanna slowly got everything removed from her body that didn’t belong. Excluding the port. The port is an i.v. that goes directly into her chest. This is used for her chemo treatments, and for anything that would normally go into an i.v. Everything else was taken out of Breanna. Her body needs to be rid of foreign objects before Friday due to the threat of infection. The more things that are in Breanna, the more likely she will get an infection. Because the threat of infection is so real, and scary, we ask that you all pray for the Lord to protect Breanna and her immune system from any thing that could cause her to get sick. She has done so well, and today she has jumped many hurdles. Today we found out that of the two types of cancer she could have, she has the type that is most curable. We are so proud of her, and her accomplishments. God has truly blessed us and our family with Breanna. While in ICU Breanna had a great couple of nurses. One of them washed Breanna’s hair and braided it. She also painted her nails and made Breanna look even more beautiful. They really have a passion for what they do and they have all said time and time again, how wonderful Breanna is and how strong she is.

Tonight we give thanks to God for the blessings he has given to Breanna and to us. We also pray for continued strength in Breanna and the power of the Lord to heal her of all illness. Please Please continue to keep her in your prayers, this is going to be a long and bumpy trip, but with the Lord and loving friends she and her family will prevail.

Top of Page Update: October 27, 2005 Breanna is doing so well that the doctors decided to move her to a different ICU room that she would have to share her nurse. She is in stable condition and her vitals look good. In this room, all visitors have to wear a protective gown that prevents germs from getting off them onto Breanna. When she woke up the first words she said (whispered due to the respirator) were “ Did my sister’s leave?” She wanted her two sisters, that made us feel so good. She really can’t talk hardly at all, so I told her to give the nurse a thumbs up for a “yes” answer. She told the nurse her head hurt and so the nurse gave her medicine that knocked her out.

Top of Page Update: October 28, 2005 Breanna is getting stronger and her vitals are right on. She is stable and the doctors were happy to move her up to 5th floor, to the oncology department. Breanna is in a more secured area that prevents sick people from getting to her. Those of us that get to see her have to take proper precautions, and wash our hands really well. Today Breanna is talking more, but still whispers when she talks. She smiles more and just looks like she feels better. She is starting to feel nauseated so the doctor is giving her nausea medicine that should helps her sleep.

Top of Page Update: October 29, 2005 AM Breanna had a hard night last night. She was up 6 times sick, and the doctors don’t know why. They did an EKG to check her heart, and all was well. Right now they took her down to run a CAT scan to check her belly for obstructions.

Top of Page Update: October 29, 2005 P.M. Breanna is having a good night. She is getting stronger, and smiles a lot now. She also is talking (whispering) more. She is asking for food, but they are hesitant to give it to her since she was so sick last night. Breanna wanted me to paint her nails so I told her tomorrow I will bring my stuff, and that I would also rebraid her hair. She was happy and content. Last night her nurse came in to Breanna’s room and Breanna told her she was uncomfortable, the nurse asked her if she wanted to lay on her belly. Breanna said sure and the nurse turned her. When she was turned the nurse then turned her head. Breanna said “owe” then she went mute. She was literally life less, with no responses to her brothers voices. The doctors said Breanna should never have been turned over, ever.

Top of Page Update: October 30, Breanna had a major set back last night and into this morning. She told her nurse her back hurt, and so her nurse decided to roll her over onto her belly. When she did this, Breanna became unresponsive and could not speak. Over the course of the night and into the morning she had seizures and remained silent. The doctor decided to move her back to the ICU where she could be better monitored and have her own nurse. Breanna was given many medications, for her seizures and the pressure in her brain. Her vital signs stabilized and she did not need to be intibated. She stayed on monitors all night, and remained stable.

Top of Page Update: October 31, 2005 Breanna had a good night last night. She even woke up and was able to tell her nurse that she was o.k. but hungry. For the most part all day she has been on heavy medicine and so she has been sleeping a lot. They did an EEG this morning. An EEG is sort of like an EKG only on the brain. It shows the brain activity. Her test came back good. It showed that she has no brain damage from yesterday. Praise God! Today at 1:00 she had an MRI on her brain. This test was supposed to be Thursday, but the doctor moved it up to today because of her seizures. They wanted to check for hemorrhaging and for swelling. They also wanted to check the size of the tumor. The results seemed like forever to come back, but when the did they were pretty good. The neuro-oncologist said she hemorrhaged and he wanted the neuron surgeon to remove the old blood cells to give her room for the swelling in her head. However the neuro surgeon doesn’t agree because it is too risky right now. They came to a consensus that they would wait until the end of the week to see if Breanna’s body would absorb and dispose of the blood. They think that more cancer has died off than what they thought, but the blood from the hemorrhage took it’s place. The doctors seemed really happy with what they are seeing. Breanna’s next chemo session has been moved up to next Monday November 7,2005 as long as her white blood cell count and platelet count go up. Her platelets were so low that she got a severe nose bleed today. They are giving her bags of platelets to help clot her blood.

Top of Page Update: November 1, 2005 Breanna is stable. She is awake but not talking. Her white blood cell count went down from 0.9 to 0.7. This is not good, we want them to go up not down. We need to pray for her white blood cell count to go up, and her platelets to also go up. Right now she has oxygen in her nose and the doctors are monitoring her bleeding (in her nose). They are also giving her platelets to help her blood clot.

Top of Page Update: November 1 afternoon, Breanna is having a much better day today. She sat up for about an hour, and even ate!! This is something she hasn't done in 12 days! She ate mashed potatoes, fruit cup, and pudding. I am sure she is excited because she also got her feeding tube removed today. The specialist said that her tumor appears to be dying. The fluid around the tumor they thought was blood, actually is dead tumor. It is dying and turning into a "mush". This is great news. Breanna is still in ICU so she can be monitored closely, and she is still weak. However she has enough strength and energy to play a hand held game cube. We need to pray for continued healing and for the tumor to continue to die and for her body to absorb anything in her head that shouldn't be there (fluid,dead cells,tumor). We also need to pray that she gain strength in her body. Right now she can't even hold up her own head. Most of all, we really need to pray to the Lord with thankfulness for the healing he has done on Breanna. He has carried her over each hurdle that this experience has brought forth, and we need to praise him for that.

Top of Page Update: November 2, 2005 A.M. Breanna is doing good today. Last night she had a nose bleed for about an hour. This just shows you how low her platelets are. Today she is good, the doctors decided not to put her on her side anymore because she becomes unresponsive.Today they are moving her back up to the 5th floor to the oncology department. Breanna is having hard time now knowing that she will be losing her hair. She also is starting to get depressed, because she is finding out more information about what is going on with her, and the severity of it. Please pray that the Lord comfort her and give her emotional strength,healing,and understanding.

Top of Page Update:Update: up to November 6, 2005 Breanna has been doing good and remaining stable the last few days. There was little to no change in her health so no update was done. Today however we ask you to please pray for Breanna, tomorrow she starts her second round of chemo. This round shouldn’t be as scary or hard on her as the first round. However there is still a risk that she will need to go back to ICU. The doctors will monitor her carefully and make adjustments as needed. Yesterday Breanna started showing signs of losing her hair. By today you could really tell. She is very upset about this, as expected. Please just pray for comfort and understanding through this experience for her. The last few days Breanna has also had a lot of pain in her neck and head area. She also has pain in her back. The only real pain relief out there is the chemo, because that is what will kill the cancer and relieve the pressure. Her nurse put some peppermint oil on her today that helped to relieve some of the pain. When awake she is in good spirits, she smiles at jokes. Her speech is getting clearer and louder. She continues to work with her physical, occupational, and speech therapists. They are helping her gain strength in her body and voice. She has come so far and is such an inspiration to me. Again we ask you to please pray for her and her chemo treatments for the next few days. We ask that the Lord give her strength and comfort through this, and that he carry her when she is weak, and heal her to make her strong.

Top of Page Update:Update: November 7,2005 Today was the beginning of Breanna's 2nd round of chemo. She finished the treatment about 3:05 p.m. and so far all went well with it. She will get two more bags of chemo tomorrow. Breanna is in the most pain today out of any other day. She is on a few different strong medicines that will help her, but the pain is so intense. They have been using a pain scale with her that ranges from 0 (no pain) to 10 (lots of pain) This whole time she has stayed about a 7, but today she said the pain is off the chart and is about a 13. There isn't a whole lot the doctors and nurses can do other than give her what they can, and keep the chemo coming. The more chemo she get, the more the tumor and other cancer will shrink, thus relieving the pressure that is contributing to the pain. Please continue to pray for Breanna. That she find comfort and a relief of the agony she is in. Please pray that she get rest and continue to heal. Also we ask that you pray for her family. We need strength and endurance, this is a long road we all will travel together. Again we thank you for your continued support and the strength from your prayers. There is truly power in prayer, and we will have "Victory"!!!

Top of Page Update:Update: November 8, 2005 Breanna received her chemo for the 2nd day of the 2nd round. She is doing good as far as tolerating the chemo and other fluids. Remember back to the first time you received chemo, she stopped breathing. So she is truly doing good. They check her eyes to help determine the pressure in her brain. They should be respond to light, and the quicker the better. Her eyes do respond, just not real fast. This is o.k. for now, it just means there is some swelling in her brain, but not enough to harm her. One true set back is today Breanna lost part of her eye sight. She was able to see that the t.v. in her room was square, but unable to tell if it was on or not. The doctors think this is because of the heavy medicine they are giving her. They are pretty sure it will get better. However, this is scary for her. She is frustrated that she can’t see right now, and of course she is scared. We need to keep praying for her pain to be relieved, and for her to gain comfort and strength. Also please pray for her family, particularly her parents as they stand by her side every step of the way. This is truly an emotional roller coaster for all.

Top of Page Update:Update: November 10, 2005 Today and yesterday Breanna has just been the same as far as severe pain. The cries out for help to who ever is in the room, but no one can help her. They have her on so many medicines that she again stopped breathing. They also said because of all the medicine she is getting her heart can stop at any time. So they have a machine by her bed incase her heart does stop. Of course this is scary for us to hear. She is just in so much pain because the tumor is pushing in her nerves. She lost her eye sight, the doctors think it is temporary from the medicine. Late in the night Breanna stopped responding to the doctors and family. Her vitals were still strong, but she was not responding. She would not squeeze their hand, or open her eyes, she wouldn't even talk. So they decided to try and make her mad a little by brushing her hair or moving her head which both of these cause her to yell in pain. However last night Breanna only mouthed the word ough, that was it.

Top of Page Update:Update: November 11, 2005 Today Breanna is a little more responsive. She will call out, "help me, somebody please help me." She still can not see right now. Her world is dark and painful. They are lessening the medication a little bit and told her mom that this side effects are "normal" with her condition. They don't have any idea of when she will be awake and able to see, talk, and communicate normal. Only time will tell. We really need to pray for the Lord to comfort Breanna. I can not imagine how scary that would be, or how she must feel. Please pray that she gain strenght,comfort,and the pain to ease.Please please keep praying for her and her family. Also pray for her doctors to best care for her, and help her.

Top of Page Update:Update: November 12, 2005 Dear Family and Friends,

The first thing that I want to do, is give all glory, honor, and praise to our Lord Jesus Christ. He has been so good to us, and His blessings continue to fall upon Breanna and the family. We have felt His presence every single moment of this nightmare. Let me assure you that Breanna is being upheld by God's Victorious Right Hand.

We are believing for Victory, not defeat. We are coming against all fear, for fear is not of the Lord. God's word says to put on the full armor of God, (Eph 6:1-18). Our shield of faith is up, and ready to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Breanna had another cat-scan last night, she has lost her vision. They wanted to see if her tumor was bleeding, and why she cannot see. The miracle is Breanna's tumor has massive improvement, and massive shrinkage, those were the words her neuro-oncologist spoke, and you know they choose their words very carefully. However, she is still unable to see. This is yet another battle, that we are praying to win. The eye doctor said there is no damage to her eyes, and he doesn't know why she can't see. We are praying that it is because of all the drugs she has been on. So we keep praying, and keep waiting.

I want you to know how very close Jesus is to Breanna and our family. We have come through battle after battle, through the deep waters, that go over your head. Jesus has brought us through, every time. He is our ROCK on which we stand. We will not take a step back in our faith, we will proclaim victory in Jesus' name!!

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I believe that Christ's power is resting on Breanna.

I believe she will live, and tell her story.

I believe she will see again.

I believe in miracles.

In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12

I ask that you approach God, and pray that He will have mercy on Breanna and heal her 100%.

I will continue to share our blessings, and battles. Thank-you for your prayers and support. May the Lord bless you.

In the Lord's Arms

Tami (Breanna's mom)

Top of Page Update November 14,2005. Wow today Breanna had quite an eventful day. She started her day out with an MRI. They wanted to do an MRI to check out why she is
unable to see. The doctor said that he is pretty sure she wont ever see
again. He said it could happen that he has seen it happen before, but he
doesn't think Breanna will see again. She lost her sight to the swelling in
her brain. However there is some good news to this MRI she had. The cancer
in her spine, is gone!!! Her spine is clean of cancer. The tumor has
massively shrunk, and her brain is progressing.We need to thank and praise
God for the wonders he has done to Breanna's brain and to her cancer all
over. He is making it go away, thank God! We need to pray that he restore
her vision. The Lord has healed Breanna so far and has laid his hands upon
her, so we need to pray for him to continue to heal her and keep her safe.
Please pray that her sight comes back and that he comfort her emtionally and
spiritually.
The doctor wants to wean Breanna off the medicine, please pray for her pain
to go away when the medicine goes too. They are going to teach Breanna to
walk again. This will be hard and exhausting for her. The doctor has Breanna
on steroids for the swelling in her eyes. This medication can cause
infection, so please pray that it doesn't cause infection for Breanna, and
that she jump this hurdle too.Breanna's white blood cell count and platelets
are dropping. This will happen for awhile since she just had chemo, but they
will go up again.
The doctors were amazed at how much of the cancer was gone. She has been
doing so well. She has the strenght of the Lord and her family with her
through this. Please pray that he blesses her eyes and that he restore her
vision. Again, we want to thank the Lord for the blessings he has given to
us and the healing power he is showing us. He is an awesome GOD!

Top of Page Update November 15, 2005 Last night Breanna had to have a blood transfusion. Her red blood cell count was so low, this was the choice the doctors had to make. Today Breanna is still so weak and not eating enough that they are giving her a feeding tube again. She is also still on the steroid medicine to treat the swelling around her eyes. Both of these things can giver her an infection. Breanna also still has a urinary tract infection. These things are NOT good. If Breanna gets an infection from her feeding tube or from the steroids, it could be very very bad. Please Please pray for the Lord to protect her from infection. That he keep her safe and hold her in his arms and carry her through this. This week Breanna's white blood cell count is dropping as expected. This is the risky time we need to be careful of infection now more than ever.

We also want to ask that you continue to pray for Breanna's eye sight to be restored. There is a lot of swelling around them and her family is hoping and praying that when the swelling goes down, he sight will return.We believe and trust in the Lord and that he will continue to bless and heal Breanna and restore her sight.

Top of Page Update November 16, 2005 Today was very busy for Breanna. The doctors all met to discuss Breanna and her progress so far. It was 5 of her specialists that met at 2:00 with her family. They said Breanna has no cancer in her spine, and no cancer surrounding her brain. The large tumor in the frontal lobe has shrunken 50%. This is all wonderful news. However. Breanna is going to have her stem cells harvested on her birthday this Monday. Then she will begin the highest dose of radiation and chemo starting November 28, 2005. She will then have chemo 5 days a week for 6-8 weeks. This quite a bit more than what she is getting now. After that 6-8 weeks she will receive chemo every 3-4 weeks until April. They think she may have memory loss, so they are checking on that. Even though she is doing so well with the cancer going away, they are going to treat this aggressively. She has a high chance that the cancer in her brain will return in the first 1-2 years. This will be very bad, that is why they are taking her stem cells in case they need them in the future. They also have to teach Breanna how to eat,walk,hold her head up, and sit up on her own.

In the early evening we found out that Breanna has to have surgery tomorrow Thursday November 17, 2005 @ 8:00 p.m. They are going to insert a shunt in her head to help drain fluid and relieve pressure. The fluid is from the dead cancer cells.

Please pray for Breanna as she goes into surgery. That the Lord give her the strength to get through it and have a quick recovery. Please also pray that she start eating and gaining weight. We also ask that you pray for her eye sight to be restored after this surgery, and that the shunt relieve the extra pressure in her brain. She is definitely a fighter and her faith has not wavered one bit through this. Her family believes the Lord will protect Breanna and restore her completely.

Top of Page Update November 17, 2005 There are no updates until Breanna comes out of surgery. Please look for an update Friday afternoon. But in the mean time please continue to pray for Breanna in all aspects. For her cancer, eyes, and her white blood cell count. Please also pray for Breanna’s family, particularly her mom. We also want to pray that the Lord keep the family strong and united through this time of pain and struggle. Thank you for your prayers, please keep them coming.

Top of Page Update November 18, 2005, Breanna got out of surgery early this morning. They ended up taking her to surgery around 9:30 p.m. She came out of surgery with flying colors. She went from surgery to the recovery room, back to her room! Praise God there were no complications. Today she is sore as expected from surgery. Also she is getting another blood transfusion tonight. Tomorrow is Breanna’s birthday party (a surprise) and so they are doubling the medicine that helps her white blood cell count. This will help protect her immune system from infection. Breanna is going to rest tonight and she has a big day tomorrow.

Top of Page Update November 21, 2005 Happy Birthday Breanna!! Imagine spending your 13th birthday hooked up to a machine for 10 hours! That is what Breanna did on her birthday. Today and tomorrow Breanna will have her stem cells harvested. This procedure will take a total of 10 hours each day. During this time her blood will circulate through the machine 6.7 times. This amount of blood can fill up 3 cases of pop cans. Breanna’s body only holds 9 pop cans worth of blood. Each day they do this procedure, they are collecting 8 million cells! Wow, that is a lot! Breanna is doing great, she is talking a lot and her spirits are high. She is however getting a little depressed about her vision. We will continue to pray for her eye sight to be restored and for her full recovery.

Top of Page Update November 22, 2005 (a.m.) Today Breanna is already hooked back up to the machine. When I saw her this morning she was so happy. She was talking a lot and back to the Breanna I know. She also has her appetite back. For those of you that can’t see her, let me tell you she looks good. She also sounds better and she can move around better. I am so proud of her, her strength, and her perseverance with the situation. She is such a strong little girl. Please continue to pray for her eyesight. Her family believes the Lord will perform a miracle with her eyes, and we expect a full recovery.

Top of Page Update November 23, 2005 Breanna went to Fitzsimmons hospital to get measured for her upcoming radiation treatments. Breanna was happy to return to Children’s Hospital because they treat her better she said. Her doctor said they don’t see a lot of children for radiation treatment over there, that is why she likes it better at Children’s. We are so truly thankful for any donation given to Breanna’s account. We want to clarify something though about the hospital. They are a non profit organization meaning they don’t have an owner. However every single patient is 100% responsible for their bill. The hospital doesn’t pay for anything. So since Breanna’s health insurance is now maxed out, all the expenses are out of pocket for her parents. I hope this clears up any confusion. Thank you for your prayers and support. We can feel them surrounding us and the Lord is just so close to us and our friends and family through this. We stand united together as we fight this battle alongside Breanna.

Top of Page Update November 24, 2005 Happy Thanksgiving! Wow, don’t we have a lot to be thankful for. We are so happy and thankful to be celebrating Thanksgiving with Breanna, and know how blessed we are to have each other. We wish you and your family a Happy Turkey Day full of Thanks! No procedure or anything new today, Breanna is just enjoying her family. We’ll keep you updating on any changes. Please keep the prayers coming, and again, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Top of Page Update: Breanna has lost 98% of her taste and smell. This week they are teaching her to walk and are working on other physical therapy things. She also went back to Fitzsimons hospital and got re-sized for her upcoming radiation treatment next week. We ask that you please pray for her strength through the next few months. The intense chemo and radiation is going to be rough on her and starts next week. Please also pray for her family, particularly her mom. Tami (mom) is going through this day by day with Breanna. She sees all of the highs and lows and is in constant battle with Breanna through this. Please continue to pray for Breanna and her family. We thank you so much!

Top of Page Update December 8, 2005 Today is Breanna’s 4th day of chemo and radiation treatments. She is really having a hard time with this because she is worn out by them. She is also getting sores in her mouth and throat from the treatments. Breanna still can not see, but continues to pray for her eye sight to be restored. She is tired and weak, she isn’t able to eat right now because she feels bad and because of the sores in her mouth. For radiation treatment she has to have a wire face shield on, after radiation the wire mask is removed and leaves indents all over Breanna’s face including on her eye lids. Please pray for Breanna’s eye sight to return there is no damage to her eyes or the optical nerve. We also ask you to please pray for her treatments to go smoothly and quickly, and to keep Breanna strong through them. She has gone through so much the last month in a half and yet keeps her positive attitude. Please pray that the cancer continues to shrink, and disappears completely never returning.

Top of Page Update: December 10, 2005 Today Breanna is enjoying her day off from chemo and radiation. She is working on physical thereapy still and trying to rest a little. Tonight was the fund raiser dinner for Breanna, held at Trinity, it went great. We want to thank all of those wonderful people who organized, planned, and carried through such a successful event. We also want to thank all of the people and business’s that donated items to the banquet for the silent auction, food, drinks, building, etc. It was so wonderful to see her friends and loved ones pull together to help her out. I want each of you to know how much it is appreciated. Every prayer, thought, kind word, and dollar we received is more than appreciated by Breanna and her family. Just going and seeing her reminds me of the simple things in life, and how important it is that we stick together and support one another. So once again, THANK YOU ALL!!!

Top of Page December 11, 2005 Today Breanna is having another day off from chemo and radiation. She continued to work on her physical therapy and for the first time in 2 months I am able to personally witness her walk, and stand up on her own. Wow, it was so wonderful. She walked all the way around the nurses station which covers 4 halls of patient rooms. She also ate today and it was good to see her eat, although it wasn’t a lot. She also was having a really hard time with not being able to see. She cried a lot today and is very upset that she doesn’t yet have her sight. However she thought she would have it back by now and is discouraged that she doesn’t. When her two sister’s arrived to see Breanna today we were able to take her mind off things for awhile and got her laughing so hard. She perked up and smiled continuously. Breanna is weakend from the chemo and radiation treatments, but she is still strong. She is a fighter and demonstrates her faith in God daily by witnessesing to those around her. Please pray for her eye sight to be restored. The are no changes in her eyes or the optic nerve, we are accepting this because it means no damage is there and she still has a chance to see again. Please pray for her to have strength as she faces another week of chemo and radiation treatments. *Her family wants to thank those people that have brought or sent food up to Denver for Breanna and her family, however we ask that you please send it in or on paper plates, disposable Tupperware, or tin trays for quick disposal with minimal cleanup and storage.

Top of Page December 24, 2005Dear Family and Friends, Merry Christmas, Breanna and I are home for two day's!!!! It has been almost 10 weeks since we left Greeley, for Denver's Children's Hospital. What a roller coaster ride this has been. By far, this has been the most agonizing experience I have ever encountered. It's like having a horrible, terrifying nightmare. Where your heart is pounding, you feel desperate, sick to your stomach, so alone, and then you wake-up!!!! Your heart is still pounding in your chest, you realize it was all a nightmare, and that you are safe, thanking the Lord it wasn't real. That is how I feel, the only difference is, I can't wake-up from this nightmare, it is reality. We are still trusting and praying for complete healing for Breanna. She has come so far, she walks very well, with guided assistance. If Breanna had her vision, she would be able to walk with out any help. Today, (Christmas Eve) Breanna was able to eat some food. She hasn't eaten any food in nearly two weeks. She was unable to swallow healthy shakes as well. Breanna's doctor does not want her to have a feeding tube, he feels the risk of infection is too great. That leaves a feeding called TPN Feeding, it is feeding through your blood veins. She is able to receive just under 1600 calories this way. It goes into her blood stream over a twelve hour period. Guess who gets to do this? That's right, me!! I inject 3 different bottles of vitamins, etc. into her bag of nutrition. Wiping the bottles and valve with alcohol, discarding the needles into a "sharps bottle". Hooking the miniature monitor up to the bag of nutrition, then cleaning her line that goes into her blood stream, flushing with saline solution, checking for blood return, continue the flush, hook the food line up to her line. Then I check her other line, she has two of them. I then flush that line with saline solution, check for blood return, continue to flush, then put heparin in her line, that keeps her line clear of blood clots. I also give Breanna her chemo before I drive her to radiation. I flush her line, check for blood return, continue to flush, give her chemo, then flush her line, and then put heparin in the line. Oh ya, you have to remember to unlock the clamps, and then lock the clamps when your finished. I also had to learn how to do catheters. Unbelievable, I know!! I kept telling the doctor's and nurses that I am a "chicken noodle soup, tylenol, cough syrup mom", not a TPN Feeding, Chemotherapy, catheter mom !!! Thank you for your prayers, gifts and donations. Thank you for the beautiful cards, she is so happy when I read them to her, I save them all. We really appreciate everything, and pray for God's Blessings to fall upon you. Though, this has been a rough and rugged road, we are still leaning on the Lord. Actually, I am positive He is carrying us at this point. Breanna said, " I just want out of this". As I held her in my arms, I told her the only way out is through, and the Lord will bring us through. It is a battle, every single day is a battle. Every single day the Lord gives us blessings, to continue through. We are holding on to our faith, and trusting the Lord Jesus, to bring us through, with VICTORY!!! Psalm 30:2 I called to the Lord for help, and He healed me. I fall asleep praying that Psalm for Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. I called to the Lord for help, and He healed Breanna. Please, continue to pray for our precious Breanna. Expecting A Miracle, Tami, and Breanna's family

Top of Page December 27,2005 Breanna started her day out doing good. But in the evening when her mom started the feeding tube in her vein Breanna started to not feel so good. About 2 hours later she was sick in the bathroom. After passing out or coming close to it she was taken into the hospital. They diagnosed her as having a reaction to the feedings, and she was so anemic they had to give her another blood transfusion. She will stay in the hospital a couple of days then be released. She will not be getting that feeding anymore, so now more than ever it is important she start eating. If she doesn't they will have to give her a feeing tube in her stomach. This can promote infection and in turn be very bad. Please pray for Breanna to be able to eat. Also for her strength and eye sight be restored. She is still unable to see, not even shadows. Her eyes are starting to show the signs of permanent blindness by turning pale. Once they are white it is permanent. Please continue to pray. I know there aren't always updates, but that is because there aren't many daily changes anymore. She just has chemo in the morning, radiation mid morning, then therapy afterwards. The next day she repeats. So even if there aren't updates, PLEASE please pray for her all the time. She still needs your prayers and so does her mom Tami. Tami is enduring lots of stress daily without any breaks. She is also the one doing all of Breanna's medical treatments outside and part inside the hospital. They both need your prayers.

Top of Page Dear Family and Friends, It's Sunday, January 8th, and we are about to leave for Denver. Breanna has two more weeks of radiation and chemo, and then she will have four weeks off, before having another MRI, at which time she will resume chemo. This continues to be one battle after another. Breanna is exhausted and depressed, please keep praying for her. She struggles to eat and drink, if she is able to eat or drink, she then struggles to keep it down. The frightening part for me is when she vomits her medicine. I then count which pills came up, and give them to her again, and pray the rest stay down. A friend from bible study came to visit Breanna and me. After Breanna was taken back for radiation, I started crying. Telling my friend that God had turned His back on Breanna and me. While sobbing and telling her how alone I felt, she told me that someone had made us a gift. Less than an hour later I opened it, you'll never guess what it was. It was a picture made from wood, of God's hand holding man's hand, and it said, "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU"!!!!!! Thank you so much for your prayers!! Thank you for sending cards, I save them all. Thank you for your gifts and for sending donations. We have received blessings from people we don't even know, thank you. We pray that God will bless all of you, that have blessed us. Please, continue to pray for our family. My entire family woke up Tuesday, October the 18th, thinking it was just another day. We got hit by a wrecking ball, that we didn't even see coming, and our lives were shattered. Through all of this agony, I want to close with this scripture. Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Passing Through With The Lord, Tami (Breanna's Mom)

Top of Page Update: January 9,2005 Today Breanna went in for her check up at the hospital. She is so dehydrated they gave her a bag of fluid and are going to give her a second. She will also be getting a blood transfusion today and she received one last Friday. Breanna's mom is going to start giving her GCSF shots for 5 days, this is for her white blood cell count. Her immune system is 0. Dr. Foremann is going to decide whether to cancel radiation and chemo for tomorrow because she isn't looking good. Breanna is starting to have bladder problems again. The doctors are concerned she'll go septic and have to be put back in the hospital. Septic shock is a condition in which blood pressure falls to life-threatening low levels as a result of sepsis. ( a result of cancer and cancer medicine). She may start the TPN feedings, since Friday 01-06-06 she has lost 2 pounds. She is continually vomiting and the doctors are concerned with this. Please pray for Breanna. She is losing strength and she is becoming more depressed. Please pray that God lifts her up in his arms and carries her through this. Also please pray for her mom. Tami is going through this daily agony with Breanna and is learning all the medical treatments as she is the one giving Breanna meds, shots, and many other things. Please pray that both of them keep up their strength and hold on to the Lord with trust and faith. Please please keep Breanna in your prayers daily. She is still in need of them and is still going through battle. We want to arm her with the armor of the Lord through prayer.

Top of Page Update:January 23,2006 Breanna’s blood cell count has been very low. It was been about 0.2. She has had 6 blood transfusions in the last week. She had to stop chemo treatments for 4 days in fear that it would “kill” her. As of today 01-23-06 she is done with radiation and will resume chemo treatments as prescribed by her doctor. Breanna is 1 of 3 patients that have undergone this radical treatment. The other two people were also unable to complete chemo treatments towards the end of radiation. Her skin is broken down so severely that it resembles a burn victim. This is most noticeable on her neck and back. Today Breanna is getting the stem cells put back in her that were harvested from her on her birthday. They weren’t planning on using these cells unless the cancer returned in a year or two; however they hope this will help her regain some strength and speed up the recovering time from radiation. Today she will have a nurse by her side the whole time. This stem cell treatment is equal to 3 transplants. Tami, (Breanna’s mom) Wants this bible verse posted: Psalm 91:4-5 He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be his shield and rampart. Thank you again for your prayers and support. Please pray for Breanna to come home this week and for her to regain her strength. Also pray for her to eat and to be able to keep the food down. Also please please pray for her vision to be restored. Breanna is very depressed about it and really wants to see again. Her doctor said he is still hopeful that it may come back. You have to consider that Dr. Foremann doesn’t usually talk like that so for him to be that optimistic about it is reassuring.

Top of Page Update January 28, 2006 For the first time since October 18, 2005 Breanna has regained feeling in her upper left part of her back. From her spinall the way to the far left side of her body she had no feeling, then on Tuesday January 24, 2006 Tami (Breanna’s mom)was rubbing her back and Breanna could feel her moms hand. Breanna is scheduled for surgery either Tuesday or Wednesday. The other day a nurse pulled Breanna’s broviak out of place. So in surgery they will remove the broviak and put in a port. The port will allow her to bathe,swim,and have more freedom or movement. It will stay in place for about 2 years. ( this surgery will happen only if her blood counts are high enough). Please pray for her counts to be good and high enough. Also please pray for Breanna to be able to eat more and keep it down. She has lost so much weight and it weighing in at 84 pounds right now. We also ask that you please pray for her eye sight to return. Breanna has heroically battled cancer and is fighting to survive, then she lost her sight on top of that. We are just begging and pleading with the Lord that he restore her vision. Her neuro-oncologist said he hasn’t given up hope on her eyes. So that is very encouraging. When she is outside, her pupils constrict and when she is inside and the sunshines in the window, her eyes also constrict. This is good news and we hope that her eyes are healing.

Top of Page Update January 29, 2006 Please pray for Breanna to be able to eat food and keep it down. She has hunger, but is unable to eat and when she does eat it is very little and always comes back up. Also please continue to pray for her vision. She is very depressed about her vision and her situation, she said things would be easier if she at least had her vision back. I spoke with her mom today and she wants to me let everyone know that we are still trusting and believing in a miracle, that is our only hope. Please also pray for Tami, she is living this daily battle sitting on the front line with Breanna seeing the daily battles and hard times. She doesn’t get a break from the emotional strain. Please pray for the Lord to be with her and hold her in his arms through this time. Also please pray for the family. The family is being taunted by the devil and evil is trying to get a hold of each person. Please pray for strength and unity to keep us together and united through Christ. Thank you for your support, please just keep praying.

Top of Page Update:Febuary 8,2006 Praise God we are home!!! We arrived home on Friday the 3rd, four months, one week, and 3 1/2 days after our nightmare began. However, it feels a little bittersweet. It is so sweet to be home, as well as a little frightening to be so far away from Denver Children's Hospital. I remember one of the times the doctors did not think Breanna would live. This particular time she was on life support and didn't think she would live through the day. Two different doctors at two different times came in to talk to the family. They were concerned that we didn't understand that she could die that day (Saturday October 22nd 2005). Finally, I told them we do understand what you are saying, but everyone in this room is a Christian, and we are believing for Victory and not defeat. It was a day a pure agony. A friend from church came into the waiting room. He wanted to know how we were holding up. I tearfully told him that the doctor's said Breanna might die today. He looked at me and said, " Well, so could any of us ". That's so true. Just because someone has cancer and is on life-support does not mean they will be the next to die. Let me assure you, the presence of our Lord Jesus was very strong. We were all praying, my family, Pastor and his wife, are friends, the waiting room was full. I pleaded the blood of Jesus over Breanna, inside her body and outside her body, that He would bring healing to her, that He would hold her in His mighty arms, that the living waters would flow over Breanna and through Breanna. I prayed for supernatural healing, supernatural favor, I asked the Lord to fill her room with His angels and place a hedge all around her bed. I prayed for Victory to the glory of God. While on my knees, my face on the floor, I begged for Breanna's life, pleading for the Lord to not take her from us. We prayed, pleaded, trusted, and waited, and waited, and waited, believing for our miracle. I told my family we are waiting on our Heavenly Father. He knows whether Jesus will be taking Breanna home, or whether Jeff and I get to take Breanna home. Our Heavenly Father answered, Jeff and I were blessed and brought Breanna home!!!!!!! Victory not defeat, Tami (Blessed to be Breanna's mom!)

Top of Page Update:Febuary 11,2006 Dear Family and Friends, Feb.8th Breanna got up and found her way to the bathroom. She held her hand on the wall and took some steps to becoming more independent. Feb. 9th Breanna sat on our steps and scooted down the staircase, slowly of course, but she made it. Feb. 10th Breanna was sore from her work-out the two previous days. She thought it would be a good idea to rest. Feb. 11th Breanna walked down the staircase, yeah!!!!! Breanna still needs a lot of prayers. She is having difficulty eating and drinking. We weighed her yesterday, and she weighed 76 lbs., she is 5'4". She will get weighed again Tuesday the 14th. Hopefully our scales are wrong. Feb. 14th is a BIG DAY. Breanna will go back to Children's and have an MRI and a spinal tap. The MRI is a huge deal, this will show if the cancer is gone. Her doctor said there cannot be any cancer left, or the chance of survival drastically drops. The next year of chemo is for maintenance not treatment. If the cancer is completely gone she will have an 85% chance of survival. Please, pray. We continue to trust the Lord for healing, as well as healing for her vision. I am believing for a miracle!!!! Thank-you for your prayers, gifts, food, cards, phone calls, and donations. We deeply appreciate all of you. May God Bless You. Expecting a Miracle, Tami

Top of Page Update:Febuary 13,2006 My heart is aching, as I wait for Tuesday. Praying that the tests go well, and we hear the news that we all so desperately want to hear. Placing your precious child in God's hands is easy when they're healthy and everything in life is normal and rolling along. Placing your child in God's hands when you don't know the out come takes a lot more faith. The Lord reminded me of a time when I was 7 or 8 years old. I was learning how to water ski. Trying to get up on the skis I fell, and didn't let go of the rope. The boat was pulling me, the water was rushing over me, I couldn't breathe. I was so afraid, and didn't know what to do. Finally, I let go of the rope (duh). The water stopped rushing over me, my life jacket held me up, and I could breathe!!! My brothers asked, "couldn't you hear us yelling, LET GO?" No, I was under the water, and didn't know what to do. I had never been in that situation before, plus they forgot to tell me to let go of the rope if I fell. Our God is so good, He tells us to let go of our worries and concerns, to let go of the rope. Jesus is our life jacket, and He will hold us up. I'm trusting the Lord, I'm standing on His promises. Breanna is in God's hands, that is the only place she can be. The love I have for Breanna doesn't compare to the love that Jesus has for her. I'm letting go of the rope, the rushing water is too strong. I'm holding on to the Lord, He is my life jacket. I'm going to take a deep breath, and pray for a miracle. Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. In God's hands, Tami

Top of Page Update:Febuary 13,2006 PM Breanna sang this song to Jeff and I on Feb. 9th. She sang it very softly, and slowly. I wrote the song down for her. Breanna asked me to put it on her website. What a precious gift from God Breanna is. TRUST There's a time in everyone's life When they just don't know what to do but God, He has a plan for you He knows your biggest needs Your fears and your dreams He'll never hang you out to dry Just catches all the tears you cry There's not a lot to say Just trust Him all the way He will get you through this No matter which way. ~Breanna ~written 2/9/06

Top of Page Update:Febuary 15,2006 We have great news, yesterday's MRI shows the cancer is gone!!!!!! Her test shows some dead cancer cells that her body needs to absorb. What a wonderful miracle, a true blessing that we embrace, and are so thankful for. We continue to believe for God's hand to heal Breanna. Her spinal tap was a light yellow. It's suppose to be clear, like water. So here we are waiting yet again for another test result. Prayerfully it is dead cancer cells as well. Breanna's doctor just called. He said, " she is completely disease free"!!!!!!! Praise God, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus!!!!!!! His one concern is her weight, she has to start eating and gain weight to start chemo again. She weighs 80 lbs. at 5'4". Breanna is healed......how awesome to type those words. Breanns is healed!!!!!!!!!!!!! Exhaling, Tami

Top of Page Update:Feb. 21, 2006 She's eating, she's eating, she's really, really eating!!! Yep, 2000 calories today, and over 1400 yesterday. I was praying for an idea, some way to get her to eat. Breanna, please eat, do it for daddy, do it for me, do it for your sisters and brothers, do it for your grandparents, do it for your nephews and your neice, do it for Jesus, do it so you will be strong enough to start your chemo again, do it so you will be strong enough to start your chemo or the cancer might come back, do it so your strong enough to fly in June, and see your brother, do it so you can wear a bikini in June, just #%^&*&# do it!!!! So I kept praying, and then a break through. What about a puppy? What? Yep, a puppy! If you knew how much I never wanted another animal, you'ld understand how desperate I was. Breanna had to go to the bathroom. As you know we have meaningful conversations while in the bathroom. I'm looking at my precious baby, stooped over, to weak to hold her head up. We're both in the depths of despair. Breanna, would you like to have a puppy. She lifts her head up, and lights up like a Christmas Tree, a puppy? Really mommy? A puppy? Yes, but you have to eat, you have to get strong. You need to be strong enough to hold a puppy. I will, I will, I promise. We need to ask your doctor. Let's call him mom. He's on vacation. What? I need to get his cell phone number!!! I don't think she was teasing, hahahaha. Luke 6:21&22 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. I read this scripture yesterday. It was underlined in red and had these words written by it, "Breanna unable to eat". The real cool part is the date that I had written by it, 12/18/06. Our God is an Awesome God!!! Laughing, Tami

Top of Page Update:Mar. 27, 2006 While my grandson was eating his pizza, I asked him if he would like me to type something for Breanna's website. He said, yes!!!! Jacob is six years old, and is Breanna's nephew. He is the first in the family to make Breanna an aunt. Aunt Breanna is doing good, she is eating and drinking more. She gained a lot of weight. What else? Hmmmm. I pray for Aunt Breanna all the time, breakfast time, lunch time, dinner time, nap time, in the middle of the night time. When I go to bed I also pray for her. I ask Jesus to make her better, to please, please, please, please, please, heal her vision. Help her to eat, and drink more, and stuff. Jacob, what do you want to tell people? That it makes me sad, that Aunt Breanna had cancer. It's good for her to be home, home is really an easy word. She grew a lot of weight. ( She gained 20 lbs, Breanna now weighs 96 lbs. at 5'4", she weighed 115 lbs. in October. I thought it would be a good idea to add this part on Breanna's behalf. Since she "grew" a lot of weight according to Jacob!!) That's all, please pray for Aunt Breanna, too. Breanna's Nephew, Jacob

Top of Page Update:Mar. 27, 2006 Every morning I let Breanna know that I'm on my way upstairs with her medicine. She sits up in bed ready for the day. Today, she was on her tummy crying. Breanna sit's up and I hold her in my arm's. While crying she asks, "Why Mom, why"? Why am I the one who got cancer? Why am I the one who is blind? What did I do? What did I ever do? I don't know what to say, I am asking the same questions. I kept holding her, by this time I'm crying as well. We're both reaching for the kleenex. Breanna, we have a lot to be thankful for. You are alive!!!! You can walk ( with assistance ) you can pee again!!!! You can move your arms, and fingers. You can eat and drink!!!! You can take your medicine with out vomiting, I don't have to count your pills in your vomit any more. You are gaining your weight back!!! You don't have any brain damage or memory loss!!!!! It doesn't take away from the fact of how traumatic all of this is. This is by far the worst nightmare I have ever encountered. I believe that Jesus can and will heal your vision at any moment, until then, we have to keep our faith, and stand strong. It blows, I know it does, it really blows. I reached over, sprayed my hands with the bottle of sanitizer by her bed. Now let's get your temperature, and take your medicine, then we can go downstairs. I love you Breanna, I love you so much, we are all so blessed that you are still here. Breanna wanted me to add a scripture that I read to her yesterday. Proverbs 20:24 A man's steps are directed by the Lord, How then can anyone understand his own way? Love, Tami & Breanna

Top of Page Update:Mar. 29, 2006 Dear Breanna, I have been thinking of how to phrase my letter. You know how our family is----everything must be perfect!. Well, I guess by now we know that we are not perfect, our lives are not perfect and we do not live in a perfect world. Only God is perfect! Breanna, I don't know why you have cancer nor do I know why you can't see. I do know what a wonderful person you are, how creative your mind is and how smart you are. You are a loving, caring person who brings joy to everyone you come into contact with. Your ENTIRE family continually prays for you that God's will be done and that you will be able to see again. I know that you must feel so alone at times and I can't imagine how you feel. Just know, Baby Girl that you are loved by all of us and me in particular. I wish that I could make everything perfect for you. We just have to believe that your vision will return and that the cancer will never raise its ugly head again. Breanna have you ever thought that you and I have a job left to do on this earth? I think we do, but I don't know what that is. If you can figure it out, please let me know. I want you to know how much I enjoy our private talks. I know that only you know the pain and suffering that you have gone through. What I do know is that both of us are now cancer survivors and that is really something considering where we were and how far we have come. There is no giving up now. You know that Granddaddy was an Irishman and Grandma is a German and they are strong people. There is just no stopping us now, right? Your Mom is a wonderful person and has given you such good care. She has been a special person from the day she was born. I know because I am her Mom. My friends want to meet her. Your Daddy is such a special person. They love you so much as do the rest of us. Your Grandma Gloria and Grandpa Cip are one of a kind. Your siblings love you more than words can describe. And then there is Bob and me, little Miss Crystal, we love you and are waiting for you to come back and manage your house. You are WONDERFUL. Such a joy. Love and prayers, Your Grammy

Top of Page Update:April 3, 2006 Breanna had appointments all day long. Kidney tests, hearing test, blood tests, the dentist, a physical exam, and the dreaded eye test. I woke up at 3:30 a.m., in order to get Breanna and myself ready and in Denver by 6:50 a.m.. Going from one appointment to the next, I wheeled Breanna into the eye doctors office. Breanna, my son's girlfriend Brittany (I call her Britthoney), and I were waiting for the doctor. I said, "let's pray, before he comes in". We prayed for God's healing and Grace to fall upon Breanna, and that no matter what he said, we would still trust and believe in Breanna's healing. That the doctor's word was not the final word, but the Lord God has the final word!! Amen!! The exam begins, he seems surprised that her pupils constrict to the light. Brittany and I looked at each other, maybe this is a good sign. Then our world starts to crash, yet again. After the exam is finished, he turns to me. Her optical nerves are pale, white. I look past the left side of his face, there is Breanna, still in the examination chair. I said, " So we need a miracle for her to see again". He replied, " I would be absolutely shocked if she ever sees anything again"! My eyes shift back towards Breanna, my precious girl, hearing this information. We need to see her in 4 months, to see if her eyes start to deteriorate, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Breanna. He left, I closed the door, and helped Breanna into her wheelchair. We cried, obviously it is a tremendous blow, a gut wrenching blow. Broken hearted, we continued on with the rest of our appointments. That evening, I was the one falling apart. I felt so cold, all the way down to my bones, my veins felt as though they were full of ice water, I was sick to my stomach, questioning God, asking why, why Breanna? Crosses were her favorite thing to draw. She loves Jesus with her entire heart, our whole family does. Why is this happening to our family? We are God's Children, we are under His protection. We are covered in the blood of Jesus, He sends His angels to watch over us. Jesus, is healing her body. Why isn't He healing her vision? There are so many unbelievers watching, as we go through this nightmare. Show them Your Power Lord, show them Your Healing Power. Heal my baby girl, this is too painful. This sucks, there are no words to describe this type of pain. No one can make it go away, the pain never leaves. I don't want to witness anymore, I don't want Breanna to be used by God. I don't want Breanna to suffer anymore, I want her to be healed. I don't care if good will come from this, it hurts too much. I know that Breanna is a witness, she is so strong. She is the strongest person I know. Exhausted, and trying to fall asleep, I prayed. Please, let this be a nightmare a horrible dream, let me wake up in the morning and everything be normal again. Please, let this be a nightmare, please, don't let this be real. Please, let me wake up, let me wake up and have my life back. While staying at Brent's Place in Denver,(a charity home for BMT patients and Cancer patients) I was listening to a preacher on t.v.. He said, " Christian's have to be strong, you can't be a baby if you're going to be a Christian"!! Isn't that the truth? The Grace of God, is the only way we will be able to walk through this life. Anyone can say they are a Christian in the good times. How about when the bottom of your life falls out, every dream, every plan you had destroyed? That is when you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and stand on the Rock of Jesus Christ, and proclaim that He is still God, above all gods, He is still King above all kings, He is still Lord, above all lords. So get ready world, keep watching and you will see kings complete healing take place, to the Glory of our Heavenly Father, through Christ Jesus!!!! Some will be "absolutely shocked"!! Psalm 34:18&19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me, He delivered me from all my fears. Brokenhearted~but not a baby, Tami

Top of Page Update:Jun 9, 2006 Breanna had high dose chemo, May 30th and May 31st, eight hours of chemo each day. Which is a fourteen hour day for us, after driving time, getting Breanna ready, parking, etc... Then she had a " booster chemo " on June 5th. Her white blood cell count had dropped to 0.1, her platelets were 50. Needless to say, having that much chemo in a seven day period reeked havoc on her precious body. She was very, very sick. Yesterday, Jeff took Breanna in for blood work. The clinic forwards the results to Children's Hospital, the nurse at Children's then calls us with Breanna's counts. At that time we know whether we will be going to Denver or not. Well, the call came, and while I was talking with the nurse, I asked Jeff to get Breanna loaded up, we needed to leave--ASAP. Breanna's white blood cell count was now 0, her platelets were 18, and her ANC was 0. Her skin is more pale than mine, and her beautiful lips were the color of her pale skin. Over the next 7 hours and 45 minutes, Breanna would receive one bag of platelets and two bags of blood. She needed to be moved to the overflow room, as we would be at the hospital until nearly 8:00 p.m.. While receiving blood, you can watch the strength come back to a person. Breanna's lips will start to get little red polkadots, and then fill in completely. Her cheeks will get a rose color to them, and she will start talking again. Thank-you to everyone who donates blood. You are truly helping save someone's life, you are a blessing! As Breanna and I were leaving the hospital, we passed another mother. She was pushing her son in a wheelchair, he must have been 14 or 16 years old. His legs were elevated and wrapped, he was on oxygen, and looked like he had suffered brain damage. I was pushing Breanna in her wheelchair, she was slumped over, holding her head, weak from battling cancer, and of course, blind. As we approached each other, we looked at our " precious babies ", with out stopping we understood each others pain and heart ache, smiled and said, " Hi ", and kept on walking. Nothing more needed to be said. Only a few short years ago, we were pushing our " precious babies " in strollers and they were kicking and laughing. The Lord gave me a song this morning, as I woke up and started thinking about yesterday....... All to Jesus I surrender, All to Him I freely give, I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live. I surrender all, I surrender all, All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all. (Judson W. VanDe Venter and Winfield S. Weeden.) All to Jesus I surrender, Tami P.S. Please, continue to pray for Breanna, as well as all children that are in hospital's.

Top of Page Update:June 20, 2006 Today Breanna had an MRI. Every three months she will have an MRI to make sure the cancer/tumor has not come back. If there is any regrowth or reoccurance that is very bad. Today she also has a hearing test and a kidney test. Her morning starts out at 3:00 a.m. wake up and head to Denver. Once there she meets up with a nuclear radiologist namesd Becky. Becky says good morning with a smile and leads Breanna back to the room to prepare for her kidney testing. Breanna is fortunate to rest in an ultrasound machine room so that she may lay down. They give Breanna medicine and then draw her blood 4 times through out that day. Once the first blood draw has been done Breanna was sent for her MRI which lasts about 1.5 hours. She then returned to the Ultrasound room for ther second blood draw. After the next blood draw she rushes accross the street for her hearing test. She is met there by two nice ladies who perform a series of hearing tests on her. She got a 96%. Breanna asked why, what did I miss? The lady said that when Breanna was told a word she was to repeat it. The only one she missed was yearn, Breanna had never heard this word before and repeated it as urine. She really she heard the word but recognized it as something else. Other than that her hearing is excellent. They said Breanna could hear 0 decibles. Wow! She does have impeckable hearing! She had a slight, I mean a very slight drop in her high pitch hearing. The ladies performing the test said this could very in any one of us and is definately not a concern. Breanna was given a great result and heading back to the hospital for more blood drawing. After this blood draw she quickly grabbed a bite to eat and went to yet a different appointment. This was to meet up with her neuro-oncologist. Here is where we would find out the results from the MRI. We were nervous as expected while waiting for the doctor to come in. As soon as he came in he said the MRI was fine, nothing to worry about. He showed us the MRI scans from the previous scan and compared it to this scan. It showed the unusual fluid that was in the spine the previous time was now gone. The extra pockets of dead cells were gone. This MRI was for sure clean! Praise God!!!! He then gave her an overall exam. All was well for Breanna! On the way to and from Denver for months now she gets a sharp pain in her right leg from her hip to her toes. The doctor believes this is nerve damage but that it should go away someday. Please pray that it does go away and soon. She was given a new pain pill for this pain and combined with her exercises should start to relieve the pain in that leg. The kidney tests performed today are not yet in, they may take a week or two. However we will post when they do come in. For now, we are praising and thanking God for his healing hands that he has laid on Breanna. She has come so far since October 18, yet she still has a long road a head of her. We thank you again for your prayers, thoughts, and support. Please keep praying, Breanna and Tami and Jeff still need a lot of prayers and support. Thank You Jesus for healing Breanna!!! Thank you friends and family! Love, Breanna's Family

Top of Page Update:June 25th, 2006 "Jesus told me to eat a cheese-burger" Breanna continues to be strong and positive, even when her body is weak and tired. She is a wonderful blessing from the Lord, and keeps the family laughing, as well as praying for her complete healing. Tomorrow, she will have another 8 hours of chemotherapy, and visit an Ear, Nose, & Throat Specialist. When it's all said and done, it will most likely be a 12 to 14 hour day for us. Since, we have been facing so many battles, I would like to share a little bit of Breanna's sense of humor. The following story happened April 2006. Breanna was just starting to eat and gain weight, this proved to be a daily struggle................ While getting Breanna ready for the day, I asked her what she thought she would be able to eat, and if anything sounded good. She said, "yes, Jesus told me to eat a cheese-burger"!!!!! I said, "He did!! Did you hear His voice"? No, He just put the thought in my head. I told Breanna that Jesus talks to us in many different ways. Through the bible, church, fellow Christians, prayer, devotions, He longs to talk to us. Oh, okay. So can I have a cheese-burger? Sure, sounds good to me. Hear comes Breanna's precious sense of humor.........In a very serious voice she said, "satan told me to eat celery". I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Not really mom, satan didn't tell me to eat celery, I like celery, but Jesus wants me to eat a cheese-burger!!! In Christ's Love, Tami

Top of Page Update:7-2-06
Dear Friends and Family, Breanna's chemo went well last week. The infusion room is full of kids, I.V. bags full of saline solutions, chemo, blood, or platelets. Not to mention the nurses, nurse practitioners, volunteers, and of course the Oncology Specialists. Then there's the parents, sitting beside their children. Some times the parents crawl in bed with their child, just to snuggle and offer comfort. I truly believe, it is the child who gives the most comfort to the parent. I too, found myself snuggling up next to my precious Breanna. There we lay together, on a twin size hospital bed, with the chemo pumping into her young body. Please, treasure your child/children. Thank the Lord for them, and their health. No matter how tired you are when you come home from work, make time for them. Play with them, talk with them, hug & kiss them, and let your child/children know how very special they are. Soak up every possible minute, for they are your gift from God. Breanna and I will be headed for Children's Hospital tomorrow. She will have a physical, get her chemo, and possible blood transfusion. Our family is blessed to have you praying for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanking God for His gifts, Tami

Top of Page Update:7-24-06 Here is the web-site for Breanna's newspaper article. Thanks again for your prayers. Breanna and Jeff went to the therapy pool today. It wore them both out, hopefully it will help Breanna get stronger. Link to Article Love, Tami

Top of Page Update:7-30-06
Dear Family & Friends, Thank you for continuing to pray for Breanna. She has had a rough couple of weeks. A new pain killer (Gabapentin) has given her all the side effects listed. It is stronger then Codeine, her little body just couldn't handle it. She stopped eating, and drinks very little, took a huge leap backwards in walking, and joint pain. Last night she wanted us to weigh her. She lost 11 lbs., Breanna now weighs 95 lbs.. She was terrified and started sobbing. Her daddy and I reassured her that she had been weaned from Gabapentin, and it takes time to get drugs out of your system. That her body would start to respond again, and she would be able to eat again. It is a vicious circle. As you know the chemo kills the bad cells as well as the good ones. First she gets the poison chemo, with all the side effects. Then she gets drugs for pain, which make her sick. Then come the drugs to help her eat and not feel so sick. Let's not forget the drugs that make her extremely constipated, you guessed it, here come the drugs that help her not be constipated. After all this, try to get her to exercise. Right!! Let's exercise. She's sick, weak, has joint pain, muscle pain, can't move her toes or move her feet towards her head, can't walk alone, and can't see. What's next? Breanna, do you feel well enough to do some school work? Speaking of school, I was in the store and noticed all the parents buying school supplies. It broke my heart. One year ago, Breanna and I were buying school supplies and school clothes. She was trying out for volleyball (and made the team). She then started cheerleading. There are no words to describe the emotion. Anguish, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, torture, anger, resentment, fear. None of these come close. Being a Christian family, we continue to trust in the Lord. Jesus is our refuge, Jesus is our hope, Jesus is our help, Jesus is working on the rest of it. As far as the fear, I continue to come against it in the name of Jesus Christ. For I know that fear is not of the Lord, and I refuse to give the devil a foothold!!! We already have the Victory!!! Breanna and I will be on our way to Children's Hospital tomorrow. She will have her kidney's tested, her hearing tested, blood work, physical, and possible blood transfusion. Matthew 6:27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 8:7 Jesus said to him, " I will go and heal him." May the Lord bless you for standing beside us through prayer. The Lord is very, very close. I can feel His presence inside my body and around my body. Breanna has experienced His touch, several times. I will ask her if she would like to share. Until then, we will continue to be upheld with Supernatural Strength!!! On The Winning Team, Tami

Top of Page Update: August 17th, 2006 Thank you for your prayers, we are so thankful for all of you. Thank you Jean for sending a prayer e-mail for us, we've had a rough few weeks. It is nice to know we have people in our corner praying for us. Breanna and I went back to Denver today, she needed a blood transfusion. As you know, Breanna is scheduled to receive chemo through April 2007. We were informed today that she will get one more cycle, which is 2 days 8 hours each day, back to back. Then she will be finished!!! Breanna was excited, I was concerned. Breanna's doctor said if she had another cycle of chemo after this next cycle there would be nothing more to treat, because there would be no more Breanna. The chemo would most likely kill her, her body has had enough. He has decided that we need to stop. The risk of the chemo killing her far out weighs the risk of the cancer coming back. I asked , "what do we do next?" He said, "wait." He does feel that she has a 95% chance of survival. Thank the Good Lord!!! I will write more as soon as possible. Holding On, Tami

Top of Page Update: September 7, 2006 Dear Family and Friends, Many of you have asked me for an update on Breanna, I'm so sorry that I've been putting it off. I try to wait until I am able to be more up beat and proclaim God's love for us. One thing I am sure of is God's love, it is never ending. August was a difficult month. Breanna was extremely sick, I rushed her to Children's four times in 1 1/2 weeks. We would pull out of the driveway at 4:30 a.m., waving goodbye to Breanna's daddy and grandma. It brings tears to my eyes as I type this. Each time we left, Jeff would be standing in the driveway, while we were backing up my headlights would fall on him, he had his hands up and facing us, he was praying. I would tell Breanna, "daddy is praying for us". The next time we went to Denver, Jeff was standing there hands up, praying for us. I told Breanna, "daddy has his hands up praying for us again, we are so blessed to have him". Breanna received her chemo 8-7-06, and spiraled down hill. We couldn't get her to stop vomiting, by now you know the routine of me counting her pills in her vomit. It was pure agony. Jeff and I would get on our knees while leaning over our bed and cry out to the Lord for mercy and healing. The second time I drove Breanna to the hospital, I reminded the devil that his days are numbered and he has no control over us. The forth time we went to Children's, I had had enough!! I told satan to get under my feet where he belongs, I am sick of this and he has no power over us. Breanna is a child of God and belongs to Jesus. You better believe spiritual warfare is real, but satan has lost and belongs under our feet. As Christians we have the Victory through Christ Jesus. We will continue to stand on the Rock!!! Children's taught me how to give Breanna medicine through her meda-port, this helped calm her vomiting. A mother told me about some medicine that dissolves on your tongue, for when children can't keep their medicine down. It is such a battle!! One night when I was hitting rock bottom and feeling defeated. Jeff said, " When Jesus was hanging on the cross He said, "It is finished" and that is what we will live by." Jesus has already won this battle. I was reading a scripture the other day. Luke 22:31&32 Simon, Simon, satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. Have you ever stopped to think of what Simon must have been thinking? What?!? Satan wants to sift me as wheat, no thanks. Back up, Stop the train!!! Thanks for praying for me Lord. How about telling satan no, no deal, no sifting. Then it hit me. Anyone can say they are a Christian in good times, when life is rolling along. What about when the going gets tough, even unbearable? You can't be a "Cotton Candy Christian", let me say it again. You cannot be a "Cotton Candy Christian" or you will melt away!!! As I am typing this Breanna is on the couch taking a nap. She had her blood drawn again, (she insists she is not a pin cushion-haha). We are waiting for the hospital to call and let us know if she needs a blood transfusion. Breanna got her braces for her legs last week. She is learning to stand and walk the correct way. She still needs assistance when walking and/or standing. Breanna's teachers came for a visit, she did an awesome job. They were very happy to see her doing better. She has also started eating again, and keeping it down. Breanna continues to get stronger and more like her normal self. She told her daddy to put the cd on #3, I want to sing!! Thank you for your concern and prayers. We truly are blessed through your praying. Please, continue to pray for Breanna's health and for her vision to be healed. Also, you may know that my mother has been battling cancer for 3 years. She recently found out that her tumor grew and spread. Please, pray for her healing as well. Actually, I could use some prayer, too. It is a challenge to be sandwiched in between my mother and daughter both battling cancer. No Cotton Candy Christian Here!!!! Love, Tami

Top of Page Update: September 15, 2006 Please listen to a song made for Breanna To listen click the play button

Top of Page Update:9-26-06 Dear Family and Friends, Breanna is having a very tough time. She is in need of prayers right now. It is my goal to cover Breanna in as many prayers as possible. Please, help me by praying and forwarding this e-mail. One week ago, Breanna went in for her last two chemo treatments. She was in a good mood, she even sat on her bed. That is the first time, usually she drags herself onto the bed and sleeps. She was talking and laughing, she had a guitar lesson and made some things out of clay. I was thrilled at her energy and took a picture of her playing the guitar. The past six weeks she received 3 less chemo treatments. She was more like her old self, even her medical staff was impressed with her energy. Breanna was giving her roommate some advise. She was recently diagnosed and 13yrs. old as well. Breanna was instructing this teenager on exercising and drinking all of her water. I found it funny, considering those are my two biggest battles with Breanna!!!! Anyway, we went into this chemo treatment with the minimum amount of blood counts.& nbsp; To say the least, I was concerned. They said, " She's a go ". So we went for it Monday and Tuesday. Remember I told you, they hit these kids hard and fast, push them to the brink of death and then pull them back. Breanna had a blood transfusion Thursday the 21st. She was still feeling great, talking constantly. I told her nurses who ever donated this bag of blood must have had a lot of caffeine!!! Her second bag of blood went in much slower and kept setting the alarm off. It was so thick they had to mix it with saline solution. Breanna was relaxed and fell asleep. I then laughed and told the nurses, this blood donor must have had a couple of beers and a cheese burrito!!!! Monday the 25th, Jeff took Breanna in for blood work. Before Jeff got back home, the hospital had already called. They wanted Breanna to go to Denver ASAP. Breanna's white blood cell count had dropped to 0.1, it should be between 4.6 and 15.5, her platelets had dropped to 15, they should be between 130 and 400, her ANC is 8, it is usually around 800 to 5830. I rushed Breanna to Denver for platelets and I.V. fluids. She will go back to Children's Thursday for another blood transfusion. In the mean time we have to watch her like a hawk, for a fever, etc... We really need your prayer support. Breanna has no immune system, please pray for her blood counts to recover quickly. As I said a few e-mails ago, this was Breanna's last chemo treatment. Her NueroOncologist said, " If we did one more chemo treatment there would be nothing more to treat, for there would be no more Breanna." I asked him, " What do we do now ?" He said, "Wait." Let me tell you, WAIT is a much harder word to hear then CHEMO. At least with chemo you're doing something, you're trying, you're fighting. As I'm thinking about this word WAIT, the Lord reminds me to wait on Him, He is in charge of all. My hands are not tied!! I can pray for Breanna and ask you to pray for her. I can still fight for her and spread her story. I can hold my little girl and bring her before the throne of God, and ask Him to have mercy on her and heal her completely. I will WAIT ON THE LORD, and BELIEVE FOR A MIRACLE, and I WILL CONTINUE TO STAND ON THE ROCK!!!! In Jesus' Precious Name, Tami

Top of Page Update: 10-17-06 Man, rough morning already. We just received a call from our mom saying the doctor called regarding Breanna's MRI yesterday. He said there is a spot of the base of her spine/brain stem. He isn't sure what it is but he is very concerned that is is cancer. IF it is cancer, she probably wont live. Please Please PLEASE starting praying your hearts out for Breanna. She needs all the prayers and support she can get right now. Please pray that it is just a spot and nothing more. Thank you, I'll let you know tomorrow what we find out. Thanks!

Top of Page Update: 12-8-06
Dear Family & Friends,
"Houston, we have a puppy." She is a precious little Maltese, very loving and most importantly she is gentle with Breanna. Breanna named her CoCo, she has liked that name for a long time. The funny thing is, our little CoCo is pure white. She is so cute, when she yawns she sounds like a kitty, and when she runs, she hops like a bunny. I'm not thrilled about picking up the "CoCo Puffs", as I find them in the house. Also, who ever heard of a backward sneeze? We have spent thousands of dollars on medicine for Breanna, and CoCo has proven to help more than the drugs.
My back went out on me the day I left to pick up CoCo. While driving, I sneezed and it felt like I had broken my back. Of course, being the intelligent woman that I am, I still drove 14 hours round trip to bring CoCo home. Duh, by the time my friend Renee and I got to Wheatland I couldn't stand up. There were two elderly gentlemen (I would say in their 80's) who found it interesting that they were able to walk better then I could. Anyway, to make a long story short, and put the focus back on Breanna. We made it home, my friend drove the other 10 hours. Needless to say I was flat on my back for 1 1/2 weeks. Thank the Good Lord for my mother-in-love, Gloria. She stayed with us and took over. She has been a huge help, as well as my father-in-love. We are blessed to have them live so close.
Where is the blessing in the in the last paragraph, you might ask. Since, I was unable to get out of bed without help, and could no longer lift Breanna. She was forced to learn how to walk with her walker. Breanna now walks with her walker!!!!! All we do is help guide her walker. When she needs to go to the bathroom, we end up having a parade. Breanna with her walker, me guiding her, my grandson & granddaughter following behind Breanna, and last but not least CoCo. CoCo thinks she is the supervisor of the mission. She then "stands guard", while snuggling on top of Breanna's feet, while the mission of the parade is accomplished~haha. God does bring good out of pain, including back pain!!!!
God is Good,
Tami
P.S. Thank you for your prayers, we continue to need them. As you know we are still on a bumpy road.

Top of Page Update: 12-9-06
Dear Family & Friends,
Monday the 11th of December, Breanna will have another MRI of her brain and spine. When the hospital called with the date and time, Jeff and I got weak in our knees and sick to our stomachs. It has proven to be more of a challenge going into these MRI's without the use of chemo. As hard as it is to be on chemo, I think it's harder to not be doing something to actively fight this horrible disease. At least you are doing "something to fight."
A few nights ago, I was under attack with fear. At 1:00 a.m. I got out of bed, went down stairs, made some tea, turned on the fireplace, grabbed my bible, and prayed. What better way to come against satan. I always ask the Lord to help me be a witness in the midst of this storm. Fighting for your child's life on a daily basis, is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I asked the Lord to show me, to talk to me, to tell me what more I could do for Breanna. Jesus, gave me a scripture to share with you.
Romans 9:15&16
For He says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.
Please, pray for God's mercy and compassion to fall upon Breanna and her family. Pray that the spot is completely gone and that her scan is clean. May the Lord bless you for caring about and praying for Breanna.
God's Mercy is upon us,
Tami
P.S. I just read this e-mail to Jeff and Breanna. Breanna wanted me to tell you that she has 100% peace and comfort about the MRI. She is a little bummed about the loud noise and the rock hard table. What goes through my mind is "the faith of a child", isn't Breanna awesome? She just told me, "I am not a child, I am 14!!!!"

Top of Page Update: 12-11-06
Today Breanna had her MRI once again. And this time it was followed with some devastating news. Breanna has relapsed and has cancer again. That one little spot that was there last time is now coating her entire brain. They only did the MRI on her brain not her spine. On Wednesday they are going to do a spinal tap. Breanna is the one that shared this news with her siblings and as she told us she started crying. She said she doesn't know how to feel right now. Right now they have 48 hours to make a decision. The decision will be to either hit chemo hard,very hard for 15 weeks. This means the chemo alone has a 5-8% chance of killing her. OR she may have a 25-30% chance of being cured. The other option is to not do anything but oral chemo and Breanna might make it a year. My heart is broken, this is the last update I ever wanted to have to write. No child should have to go through this. Please Please pray for strength and peace. Both for Breanna and the family. Please pray that God performs a miracle and spares her life. Please just pray for peace, comfort and strength. Please please pray....we all need the prayers especially Breanna and her parents. Thank you.

Top of Page Update: 12-12-06
Dear Family & Friends,

Our family is standing on the Rock of Jesus Christ. He is our Lord, Savior, and King. Our faith will not fail, it will only get stronger. Jesus is our Comforter, Healer, and Strength. God bless everyone of you, for praying for us. We can feel your prayers.

Breanna's MRI showed numerous cancer tumors through out her brain. We have three choices. The first is to try experimental drugs, and most likely die. The second, make her comfortable and maybe live a year at the most. The third is triple high dose chemo, and have a 25 to 30% chance of survival. Breanna wants to fight, we will continue to fight for her, and I'm asking for all of you to stand on the front line with us. My plan is to storm the gates of hell itself, as you know Jesus already won that victory for us. Satan has no power over us, he has no control over Breanna, and he cannot touch her. God alone holds Breanna in His Mighty hands.

Triple high dose chemo is equal to a triple transplant. Her doctor gave us 48 hours to decide. He told Breanna to think about "if" she even wants to go through this. Breanna is the first person in the world to relapse after high dose chemo and chemo before radiation. There was only a 10% chance that this would happen. There is a 5-8% chance that the treatment itself could kill her. The doctor told Breanna she could stop treatment at any time, but if she cannot start treatment at any time. We would need to start right away.

Wed. the 13th, she will have a spinal tap. He told us there will be cancer cells in the fluid. At that time they will inject chemo right into her spinal fluids. Monday the 18th Breanna will be admitted to Children's for 3 days of chemo. Friday she will have a stem cell rescue, with her own stem cells that were harvested November 2005. She will be able to come home for Christmas. Jeff, Breanna, and I will be moving back to Brent's Place January 1st. Brent's Place is a bone marrow transplant, cancer patient shelter. It is too dangerous to stay living at the hospital, with no immune system. This treatment will take 15 weeks. We are completely devastated, but ready to fight.

Jeff's mom will be moving to our home again. Jeff''s dad had a massive heart attack a few weeks ago. He is doing very well now. Pray, for the Lord to have mercy on our entire family and bring healing. Trust me when I assure you, that we are not standing alone. Our eyes are focused of Jesus, we have angels all around us. The power of your prayers is so strong!!! I can literally feel God's Army of Prayer Warriors behind us.

Jesus Christ is Lord of ALL,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 12-13-06
Dear Family & Friends,

We are just about ready to leave for Children's. Please pray. Breanna has been in a lot of pain, with her head, neck, back and hip. It is a complete nightmare, please help us. I am asking everyone to be on the front line with us. This battle is too heavy. Pray that our Lord have mercy on Breanna and bless her with complete healing. Pray for our family to stay strong. Breanna told me that she will try to sing a song everyday, eat her food, exercise, sit at the table, and mostly--drink her water. My heart is breaking, please pray. Pray for her spinal fluid to be clear, that will mean there isn't any cancer cells in the fluid. At this point the Lord Jesus is holding us close. Please Pray, Tami

Top of Page Update: 12-14-06
Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna's doctor gave me a hug. I want to talk with you and Jeff alone, while Breanna is recovering. I said, "you have such a hard job." He said, "It's the parents that have the hard job." Jeff and I followed him to the conference room. I said, "the dreaded walk to the conference room." He held the door open for us, and said, " I actually have nightmares about this room."

Breanna's spinal fluid was clear but still had floating cancer cells. They injected chemo into her spinal fluid. She has cancer on her spine and brain. He told us all the side effects, all the statistics, and that she can stop treatment at any time if it is too unbearable. I asked, " If she stops treatment, then she'll die?" He said, "Yes, but the treatment itself can kill her." She will have 3 bone marrow transplants. If she lives another year, her statistics will double. As far as the side effects we will deal with them as needed. Jeff and I don't want to put our energy into side effects that haven't happened. Nor, do we want Breanna to be concerned, so we need to keep it to ourselves. Please pray, and come against the side effects.

We then went to Breanna. Her doctor asked her what she had decided to do. She said, " I really don't like the first two choices, the odds aren't very good (none). I want to fight, and I want to live." I'm so thankful that she is willing to fight. She needs help in this battle, here is my plan. I am going to kick satan square in the teeth, and remind him that he is under my feet, and has no control of our lives. Ask the Lord to put a hedge around Breanna, and cover her in the Blood of Jesus, to keep His angels around her, and fill her with His peace, comfort, and joy, so she can still sing. To bring complete healing for Breanna, from the top of her head, to the tips of her toes, and give God all the Glory. There is a song that my children sang when they were little, that the Lord brought to my heart. I'm sure you'll remember it.

Higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, lift Jesus higher, HIGHER! Lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, stomp satan lower, LOWER!

Please, help me in lifting Jesus higher, and stomping satan lower.

Praising God,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 12-18-06
Dear Family & Friends,

We're admitted into Children's. Breanna is accessed, blood drawn, and waiting to start chemo. She will have her blood drawn every 4 hours, to monitor how her body is handling the level of toxicity. She is currently getting 10 drops of fluid per hour. The reason being, when cancer dies the cancer cells get larger as they sluff off. This is how she ended up on life support last year.

Breanna is so strong. She is the perfect example of God's Grace resting on a Christian. One of her favorite songs says......Hallelujah, Grace like rain falls down on me, and Hallelujah, all my sins are washed away, washed away.

Pray for God to have mercy on Breanna and heal her. That she will have zero side effects. I realize that God alone is the Divine Healer, and that all the Glory goes to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Top of Page Update: 12-19-06
Dear Family & Friends,

What a blessing! Last night the most beautiful music was coming from outside Breanna's hospital room. I opened her door, and two feet away were two young girls (15 years old) playing the harp and violin. Christmas music filled the Oncology Hall. Mommy's were standing by their children's doorway. I will never forget a grandmother holding her grandchild, while wiping her tears with the baby's blanket.

While typing this I am trying to remember the music, as I am hearing flight for life taking off from Children's Hospital. This is our second Christmas at Children's. It is difficult to see so many kids suffering. Why are we hear again at Christmas, Lord? Then I felt in my spirit..... This is why Christ came, this is why Our Lord was born, to save us. To give us the gift of Eternal Life. I can hear flight for life landing again. Yes, the world needs a Savior. What a wonderful reason to celebrate Christmas. Our Savior, Christ the Lord was born!!!

Breanna is sleeping a lot, but seems to be handling the chemo. We will know more this afternoon, as they will check her counts every six hours. She will be starting medicine to help heal the good cells, and kidneys at 12:45. Her chemo was a neon yellow, it was clear the past 14 months. She is still having her kidneys flushed 24 hours a day, most likely until Thursday morning.

Thankful,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 12-20-06
Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is having a lot of back pain, and she vomited. Her counts are not recovering as quickly as they were hoping. They are increasing her medicine. We will be staying until tomorrow. I'm relieved. The snow is coming down so hard you can't see the skyscrapers anymore. The nurses were told they would most likely be spending the night in the hospital. They are trying to figure out how to get the evening nurses here. I just glanced outside, it is solid white. Children's Hospital is the only building I can see in Denver.
This prayer is from Rob --

Prayer, satan I rebuke you by the Name of Jesus, Stop! And flee right Now! from Brianna and her family. Flee permanently from Brianna and her family Right Now! Lord Rebuke satan right now for Brianna and her parents. I speak, proclaim, declare, and prophesy with Faith in the Name of Jesus, with Faith in the shed Blood of Jesus, with Faith in the Stripes of Jesus, with Faith in the Spirit and Person of Jesus Christ the risen Son of God; Brianna is Healing, Brianna is Deliverance, she is healed and is being healed by the Divine Power of God. Holy Spirit I ask You in the Name of Jesus to invade, cover, and fill Brianna and her hospital room right now. God the Holy Spirit, God the living Spiritual Father of Brianna, God the Son Jesus and Brianna's Lord and Savior; Your Perfect Good and Divine Will Be Done in Brianna's life and her fami lies lives. Thank you for the Miracles You are doing in their lives, and thank you for the Miracle healing You are doing in Brianna's body. Thank you Jesus for Your complete finished work at the Cross, thank you for your shed Royal Blood on the ground, on the Cross, and on the Mercy Seat of God in Heaven. Jesus thank you for taking the Stripes, Jesus thank you for loving Brianna and us so much that You gave Your life and Your health for us on the Cross. Jesus I cry out to you with all the Faith you have given me Lord, touch Brianna right now and heal her completely. Thank you Lord for hearing and answering Brianna's prayers, her parents prayers, the saints prayers for her, and my prayers for Brianna. I Love you Lord.

Top of Page Update: 01-03-07
Dear Family & Friends,

We checked into Children's Hospital, New Year's Day. Breanna started her high dose chemo. Her doctor met with a group of Nero Oncologists, and decided she needed one more round of high dose before starting her triple high dose on the 22nd. This might attack the cancer with more impact. However, (however always seems to work it's way into the sentence) this certain type of high dose could cause brain damage. The reason being, she has had high dose radiation, plus one year of high dose chemo, and then this type of high dose chemo two weeks ago. So our new 2 choices were...risk possible brain damage and fight to live, or don't do the high dose chemo and die.

Breanna is doing very well. The doctors seem guarded and pleased with her progress. She is still getting her 24/7 Saline Flush to protect her kidney's. She has good color, and is eating. She is covered with the Grace of God, she is such a blessing. Breanna doesn't complain or question God. She did say, "It would be easier if I could see." Her faith, trust, and peace shine through as a true example of Christ's Comfort in the midst of a storm. This is especially true, for Breanna has heard 98% of what the doctors have told us. She understands what they say, and still remains calm, showing no fear.

Jeff and I are constantly battling fear and anxiety, being petrified haunts me. It's the first thing you think about in the morning, going through the day with a constant knot in your stomach, the last thing you think about when you fall asleep, and have nightmares the entire night. It never seems to leave. We ask each other if we will ever feel normal again. It feels like we are living in a fish bowl, watching the outside world go on with out us. Feelings of anger and jealousy rise up in both of us, for what has happened to our daughter. Despite all of this, Jeff and I are aware of "the Peace that passes all understanding." The waves are crashing in, but our eyes are focused on Jesus, and we will not sink. Knowing that fear is not of the Lord, we continue to cast it under Jesus' feet. While we place Breanna in the Mighty Arms of our Lord, and pray for mercy.

Focused On Jesus,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 1-19-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna's surgery went well on Monday. She is still having pain with her stitches and the weight of the broviac pulling on her. Changing end caps, flushing saline solution and heparin, cleaning her broviac sight has all become part of our day---again.

Breanna's MRI went well. The cancer has gone down more than 80% less than 95%. There is a spot the doctor showed me, you can see it caving in and dying. Even though the cancer has gone down, the plan of attack remains the same. Breanna will start 6 hrs. of triple high dose chemo Monday the 22nd. Followed by 3 hrs. on Tue. and 3 hrs. on Wed.. She will receive a bone marrow transplant Friday the 26th, which will take 7 hrs.. They will give her extra chemo in her spinal fluid in 2 weeks. Her doctor said, " We need to be extremely careful with her and watch her, since she just came off a year of high dose chemo, with high dose radiation."

People ask me how I feel. I struggle to find the words to express the level of reality and emotion, the nightmare that our family lives with on a daily basis. To pray that Breanna lives another day. To wake up and want to go in her room and kiss her, and at the same time be terrified that she died during the night. To laugh and bake cookies with Breanna, trying to soak in every second, silently wondering if this will be the last time. On and on and on this goes. Spiritual warfare is very real, it is a constant battle with few breaks. The only way we are making it through this, is by the Grace and Mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. Your prayers are a "huge support", we can feel them. I know that I have said that before, but it is so true. There is Power in Prayer. Thank You.

Joshua 1:5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

God is right here,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 1-20-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna was on the Faith page in the Greeley Tribune today!! I am forwarding information, for those who would like to read it. :)

Greeley Tribune

click on news....finding strength in prayer

at the end of the page click on Related Articles Jan. 20th 2007 and Jan. 19th 2007 With God on her side

Glory to God,
Tami

P.S. Breanna's updated website is www.breannasstory.net Please, forward this information to those the Lord places on your heart. Thank you. Top of Page Update: 1-21-07

Dear Family & Friends,

On my way downstairs I stopped and paused outside of Breanna's room. I watched her sleeping, she is so beautiful. I leaned over and kissed her, she opened her eyes and said,"I love you, mommy." I said, "I love you too, my precious girl."

I went downstairs and opened my blinds to a beautiful snow storm. Breanna and I both love the snow (maybe, not so much if we have to drive in it tomorrow at 5:30a.m.) :) The snow is coming down so fast, you can't see the mountains. The sky is solid white, you can only see about 3 streets behind us. Jeff came downstairs while I was still standing by the window. We are both watching the snow fall. I said, "the next time we look out these windows it will be Spring, almost Summer." I told him, "we really need to make this day count." Actually, we have been making every single day count, every minute. Our kids have been spending as much time as they can with Breanna, sitting beside her, just loving her. They are organizing a schedule to take turns coming to Denver and helping us. We are so blessed, our kids are a blessing from the Lord. Jeff and I love you guy's, and it will be ve ry difficult to leave for 4 months. Still snowing, I glance out at our deck, it's covered in snow, our patio furniture is covered in snow. What I see is my family out there sitting and laughing on a cool summer evening. What I see is Breanna, standing on the deck facing the mountains, and commanding them to be cast into the sea. She did that many times over, convinced that her faith was greater than a mustard seed!!! Do you understand why Breanna is so special? What I hear is very different then the soft snow falling. I hear and see a loud, thunder storm rolling in. I have been watching this storm since she relapsed. It keeps growing, getting louder and closer. The lightening is crackling through the sky, and the thunder is getting louder and louder. The storm is crashing in, there is no way around it. We can't turn away from it, or go around it, and we will not run from it. God has called us to go through it, and go through it we must. He will carry us through the storm. The Lord has told me who is in the storm.... It is not satan (I refuse to give him a capital "s"). It is the Lord God Almighty, waiting to carry us through. My goal is to focus on Who is in the storm, and not on what is in the storm. Someone asked Breanna, "Why do you think God is letting this happen to you, when you have such strong faith and love Him?" She smiled and said, "Oh I know why, I am suppose to lead others to Christ!"

Carried by God,
Tami www.breannasstory.net

Top of Page Update: 1-24-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is currently getting her third day of triple high dose chemo. It is a true miracle, she has not thrown up one time!!!! She is doing better then the doctors thought she would. Her positive attitude and strong faith is an inspiration to out family. Remember when we were told that this chemo would make the last time look like a walk in the park? Breanna informed her daddy and me that she doesn't accept that, and that she is determined to "skate through the park" this time around.

Thank you for praying for us. It is a challenge to see so many sick children every day. Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who is getting ready to give her child one of her own kidneys. Little babies in red wagons hooked up to oxygen and I.V.'s. After a long day, Breanna and I were leaving the hospital. While pushing Breanna in her wheelchair, we passed another child in a wheelchair. That child looked so sad as he/she (don't want to say which) watched us pass by. This child had healed from burns, but didn't have any fingers and most of the hands were gone. My eyes filled with tears as I smiled at the child and kept walking. Breanna asked me why I was crying and why I was keeping it from her. She said, "Mom, you promised you wouldn't hide your crying from me anymore". So I told her it is painful to see children suffer. While I was lifting Breanna out of her wheelchair, she reached out to hug me. While holding each other, Breanna whispered, "Mom, there is a reason that these kids are suffering. God has a plan, He has a plan for every one of them. He has a plan for me, too."

I know that I am not in hell, but this is as close to hell as I ever want to be.

Still Trusting God,
Tami

Top of Page Update: 1-26-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna's BMT went well today. Her doctor kept a close watch on her, as he sat outside her sliding glass door watching her numbers. I asked Breanna's nurse why he was staying so close and watching her so carefully. She said, "It is standard procedure for him to be here, a BMT is a major ordeal". Breanna's primary nurse was in Breanna's room one on one with her, as well. I felt reassured and concerned that she was under constant observation. Reassured, it doesn't get much better having your daughter's Nuero Oncologist and Primary Nurse within a few feet. Concerned, that there could arise a need to have them that close. Everything went smoothly. Her doctor said, "She seems to be doing fine." Please, pray that she doesn't get a fever. If she does, we will need to admit her to the BMT unit at Children's.

We have been giving Breanna baths every 6 to 8 hours around the clock. The chemo comes out through the skin and could burn her if it doesn't get rinsed off. No lotion, soap, chapstick, bandages, tape,etc., until 48 hours after her last chemo. Jeff and I believe it is through the Grace of God, and your continued prayers, that Breanna came through this week without any burns!! God is blessing us. Her doctor said, "Next week might be more difficult."

Breanna has not been eating much. Maybe, a couple of bites of food a day. She is working on her water. She did not have the energy to sing to me yesterday. She said," She didn't know if she would feel like singing today." Her doctor told me it's better if she sleeps through this. Wed. she heard one of the kiddo's playing a video game. She said," It would be so much easier if I could see." Please, pray that the Lord will heal her vision.

I believe in miracles
Tami

Top of Page Update:1-29-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna and I are in the infusion room at Children's. She is getting 4 hours of fluids. Her white blood cell count is 0.1 her over all ANC is < 100. Last Monday it was around 2547. Since last Monday, she has lost 15.4 lbs. She has stopped eating, except for a bite here and there. We have to keep working with her to get 24 ounces of fluid in her a day. They are anticipating one to two blood transfusions a week, as well as platelets. Thank you to everyone who donates blood. I'm sure all the families are thankful for the people who donate blood. It truly saves lives.

Breanna did not sing Thursday or Friday. Saturday morning she was sitting up in her bed humming. I sat down beside her, and told her I was happy she felt well enough to hum. She didn't think she would be able to sing for awhile.

Today, she told me she just wanted to be a normal kid again. She wants to be able to run. She misses school, and her friends. She even said she missed cleaning her room! I know most kids would roll their eyes at that one, haha. She misses her old life, we miss our old lives. I remember October 2005, a mom who had a child on the Oncology floor, told me this would become my new "normal". I refused to believe that statement, but almost 1 1/2 years later it seems to be true. This lifestyle is not what I would call normal, but rather a living hell on earth.

I keep praying for the Lord to bring complete healing to Breanna. It is hard not to become filled with anger, and question God. What about those who murder, or those who abuse their kids, or especially those who do not love Jesus? What about them, why don't they get struck down with cancer? Why Breanna? Breanna loves You Lord, she loves You with her entire heart and soul. She was always drawing crosses, they were her favorite thing to draw, and now her vision has been taken from her, and can no longer draw. Then I asked the Lord to forgive me of such thoughts and anger. He then reminds me that He loves those who murder, He loves those who abuse their kids, and He loves those who hate Him. He loves all of us the same, He has no favorites.

Trusting the Lord,
Tami

Top of Page Update:1-30-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is having a pretty rough day today. She has been very sick, the mouth sores have kicked in, and a bloody nose. She is in pain from her head to her hips. The hospital called to check on her, and asked me to bring her in as soon as possible. They are testing her blood counts, and will give her fluids for now. She has completely stopped eating, and drinking except for what she needs to swallow her pills. She complains about being hungry, and her tummy hurting. Yet is unable to eat. Her doctor said, "She would most likely vomit if she did eat." We can't give her a feeding tube, for the risk of infection is too great. We can't do TPN feedings for that might damage her liver with the type of chemo she's getting.

They just sent us downstairs to do a dye-study. Breanna's broviac doesn't draw blood the way it should, and she has pain with it. Please, pray for Breanna as she is having a miserable day. Pray for me, too. I know that God loves us, I'm just having a hard time feeling His love today. Also, I am sick of being a witness, and I'm extremely sick of Breanna being a witness.

God is in control. I pray He has mercy on us.

Thank you,
Tami

Top of Page Update:1-31-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Thank you for praying. It is such a comforting feeling to know we are not alone. Breanna had her blood drawn, her white blood cell count is still 0.1, her platelets are 20, and her ANC is zero. The 22nd her ANC was over 2400. Her counts are currently "rock bottom", which is exactly what they wanted to happen. She is still a high risk for spiking a fever, and being admitted to the BMT Unit. She should recover around Sunday - Tuesday. Then she will need to eat as much as possible, before she gets hit again the following Monday.

Breanna wanted me to share some dreams she has had. One was about a tornado, another about an orange snake with fangs and venom. In another dream she was swimming in the ocean. She heard a warning about sharks, the water was full of them. Then she heard that there was a demon possessed baby in the water with the sharks. Breanna started to swim towards the baby to cast the demon out. She then woke up. She said, "satan woke me up, he didn't want me to cast that demon out of the baby."

Breanna also wants me to tell you, "Although, I am undergoing cancer and chemo right now, my heart breaks for all the other kids that are suffering, and there is nothing I can do. I just wish there were something I could do, but all I can do is pray. Please, keep praying. God Bless, Breanna"

Under God's Protection,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-2-07

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick update to tell you how I'm doing. Today is the first day I've been able to eat. It's not much, but every calorie counts. I'm getting blood today, so I asked my mom to type this e-mail in red!! The type of chemo I'm taking has given me the biggest and most painful mouth sores ever. They also go all the way down my throat, they are so tender I can't even eat or drink with out pain!!

About two days ago I went to bed, and a little later, Mom came to wake me up to take a pill. I woke up in a cold sweat, I said, "Mom, I'm gonna puke." So she got me a bucket, I puked in the bucket. It felt like foam, my mom and dad say it was green bile. Then I got up to go to the bathroom I touched my stomach, it was as hard as a 9 month pregnant lady. Being the mother that my mom is, she quickly called the hospital and filled my syringes, while my daddy stayed beside me and rubbed my back. The hospital said to bring me into the ER. My mom said, "We were told to call first and only go to the BMT Unit, not the ER." My doctor said that I am too sick to be in the hospital, (I think that is funny).

I can't wait to come home. Please, keep praying.

Love Lot's, Breanna

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is so sweet. I asked her if she wanted me to add how much she loves her doctor. She said, "I can't do that, because of jealousy and favortism." She cracks me up!! A volunteer played his guitar and sang to Breanna today. She sat up and sang with him. She asked him if he knew any songs for teenagers, and proceeded to teach him. Yep, there's my girl, on strong pain killers for her throat, singing with this guy. Music has proven to be good therapy. She ate two sugar cookies, some sour cream and onion chips, and drank 10 ounces of milk. This is the first time she has been able to eat in 1 1/2 weeks.

Please, pray that she doesn't get sick this weekend. Cancer changes the way you think. You have to be so careful about being around anyone who sneezes, coughs, or even has the sniffles. I'ts crazy stuff. Oh, to feel normal again. :0)

Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-6-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Today was our day off from the hospital, I told Breanna we could sleep in today, kick back and take it easy. No such luck, we are back at Children's. She has had a rough week. She did end up getting admitted to the hospital on Sunday. She has had 3 more platelet infusions, they extended her GCSF. Her white blood cell count is still 0.1, she isn't recovering as quickly as they were hoping. This is the week she needs to be eating, before starting the triple high dose on Mon., Tue., and Wed..

With out going into all the details, this past week has left Jeff and I exhausted, and frustrated. I was talking with my mom, more like crying on her shoulder (thanks mom). I was expressing my feelings of despair, loneliness, hopelessness, etc.. I told her I know God is love, but I wasn't feeling much love right now. Where is He? Why has He turned His back on us? She assured me that God does love us, and that He is right here with us. I told her that I was looking out my window and saw a fire truck, a pedestrian was on the ground by the road. I can't handle this anymore mom, I can't do this anymore. I want Breanna to be healed, healthy and whole. I miss her so much, I miss our family, I miss our home, I want to go home. Feeling so desperate and crying, "Mom, Why isn't God helping us? Why isn't He delivering us from this nightmare?" My mom said, "I don't know why this is happening, God does have a plan, it is the way it is. Breanna will have a wonderful life, Jesus has a special plan for her." Mom, no one can help us, not even you. The Lord is the only one who can help us. I'm waiting for Him to show up, I'm so alone. I'm tired of being a witness, this hurts too much. Still crying I said," I don't want to reach out through this pain and spread God's Word anymore, I'm done."

Just then, my outdoor buzzer rang. I asked my mom to hold on, I was expecting home health care to bring more medicine supplies. Well, it was not home health care on the outside line..........God showed up!!! Three wonderful ladies from "Cop's Fighting Cancer" were standing outside. I know the Lord had them there at that exact moment. I still had tears in my eyes as I let them in. We had to stay in the hallway, Breanna's counts were too low for visitors. They were so kind and encouraging. They told me how much Breanna'a updates meant to them, and how much they loved Breanna. They said, "Your faith is so strong." I told them that I felt like I was on rock bottom, and that the Lord had used them to help lift me up. In no time at all they had me laughing and feeling like I could continue to fight, and witness. They encouraged me to stay strong, and told me that so many people are praying f or our family.

I want to thank everyone who continues to pray for our family. We need your prayers. This is such a horrible nightmare, we are living with the same tragedy day after day, praying for God's Grace and Mercy to fall upon us. Also, thank you for all your cards, donations, help, prayers, phone calls, e-mails, everything, thank you. My Pastor's wife said it would be okay to write a blanket thank you. I have sent out 200 thank you cards. Please, forgive me if I have not sent one to you personally. The Lord knows and will bless you, and we are very very thankful. Thank you for the yummy food, and gas cards, too. :0)

Exhausted,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-9-07

Dear Family & Friends,

As the old saying goes, "You never know what a day will bring." Breanna was do for blood work and then we could leave for the day. Well, her counts have dropped so they ordered platelets and they are giving her fluids as well. She has been complaining about stomach pains and spiked a fever.

They had the doctor come in. He said, "She is healing and should start to recover by next week." He also said he might consider letting her go home next weekend to see her family and puppy, before starting her second round of triple high dose. I'm sure going home for the weekend will help her feel much better. It is difficult being away from our family and friends. She misses her puppy Coco. Breanna and I were talking with Jeff on the phone. She wanted to say hi to Coco, so Jeff put the phone on speaker and showed Coco Breanna's picture while Breanna talked to her.

I asked Breanna if she wanted me to write something for her. She said, "I'm very, very, very, sick." Then she added, "don't write that, it's not positive."

Thank you for your e-mails. I read them to Breanna, and forward them on to the family. It is comforting to know we have so many people praying for us. Please, continue to pray for the Lord to have mercy on Breanna and heal her body.

Praying for Mercy,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-10-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna spiked another fever, and is back in the hospital. They are giving her antibiotics through her veins, and then sending her back to Brent's Place. As you know her doctor does not want her in the hospital, too many germs.

I have a friend who is in desperate need of prayer. I asked her if I could put this information on Breanna's web-site, so we could have more people praying for her. I told her I wouldn't give any specifics or use her child's name. She gave me permission to share.

She wanted me to tell you, her daughter's name is Sara. They have been in the hospital since the end of November. Her precious daughter is about to go home to be with the Lord. This family is in so much pain, and anguish. I asked her what she wanted me to have you pray for Sara. She said, "Pray that she will run, and sing, and dance." I asked her what she wanted us to pray for the family. She said, "Pray for healing."

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Psalms 34:18
The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking.

Broken Hearted,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-10-07

Dear Family & Friends,

The Lord has put another family on my heart, who is also in desperate need of prayer. There child is being sent home to die.

I had Breanna in her wheelchair and stopped to say hi to my friend. I asked her how she was. She said, "We're done, we're going home." I knew what she meant, so I said, "let me put Breanna in the car so I can talk to you." Her heart was broken, shattered into tiny pieces. I tried to comfort her, knowing that nothing I could say would take her pain away. She told me she just keeps holding her child, (who is around Breanna's age) her child tells her to stop holding him/her all the time. I told her Breanna tells me the same thing. Breanna will ask me, "Mom, why do you kiss me all the time? Stop kissing me." My friend was crying, pouring her feelings out to me. I knew her pain all too well. She said, "I can't believe I'm saying this, or thinking this, or doing this." I reassured her she was completely normal, that this is all a nightmare. The deep, deep despair that parents go through. In some cases, so deep, that death itself would bring healing.

Sick to my stomach, I got into the car. Breanna asked me, "What did that mom mean when she said, "We're done, We're going home. Are they going to stop trying?" Wanting to protect Breanna. I said, " She meant, We're done-her child is now eating, and We're going home-her child is okay now." Breanna didn't say anything. She is smart, I think she knows I didn't tell her the truth.

Psalms 130:1&2
O Lord, from the depths of despair I cry for your help: Hear me! Answer me! Help me!

Trusting,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-17-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna's counts have fallen again. She has had over 15 GCSF treatments, which forces her bone marrow to start producing WBC. It isn't happening, they said her bone marrow has been blasted so hard over the past 1 1/2 years. We are taking her back to Children's on Sunday, for more platelets. She receives platelets every other day, platelets make your blood clot. They have bumped her MRI up to Tuesday, it was scheduled three weeks from now. They want to see what is happening to the cancer, since she missed last weeks triple high dose, and they just canceled it again for this coming week. If the cancer has shrunk they will hold off for another week, if it hasn't they will resume the triple high dose on Wednesday. She cannot have anymore tylenol, as they are concerned about damaging her live. As tears were streaming down my face, one of the doctors asked me if I was okay. What a silly q uestion. I said, "Yes"........ what a silly answer. Have you ever wondered why people say they're fine, when they are at the absolute lowest time of their life, heart shattered, and living with agony day in and day out?

Later that same afternoon, a nurse came into Breanna's room. Breanna told her, "It's gone." The nurse said, "What's gone, your pain?" Breanna said, "No, the cancer is gone, but the doctors want to keep giving me chemo."

Mark 11:23 Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.

Breanna would stand outside on our porch, and command the mountains to be thrown into the sea. She would then say, "Mommy, I do have faith like a grain of mustard seed, I do believe. Then she would go back outside and talk to the mountains!!!" I believe she is doing the same with the cancer. She is an amazing person, the faith of a child.

Faithful, Tami www.breannasstory.net

I was thinking about you wanting to hear something positive each day. Everything I thought of was not a good positive thought. But I started thinking about you, Breanna, and what a positive thought you are to all of us and the world. You are like a beautiful flower in a pasture of wild grass and weeds, like we have here in SD. We can have some bad summer storms (as in life) with the hail and strong winds, even tornadoes. But through all of this, you are still showing your beauty of life. You have a sense of humor even when things are bad. You are concerned of others and show compassion to those suffering. And like your Grandma Rosa, you could kick the complainers in the butt. Your faith is one to look to when I feel lost. I just have to think of you, Breanna Rose. You are an inspiration to me and to all of the world. Be cause of you, your family, especially your mom, has touched the lives of many who didn't know about our Lord and Savior. We love you, Breanna. Love and Hugs. Renee

Top of Page Update:2-20-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna has gotten one bag of platelets, and is on her second bag of red blood cells. They are testing her blood for a virus. They don't know why she is not recovering. She will have her MRI in one hour. Her doctor said, "Her scan needs to be excellent, not even one spot, or they will have to push forward tomorrow."

I had planned on writing about Hope. It seems as though I am so beaten down, I'm not sure if I have much hope anymore. The funny thing is, people tell me how strong I am. It is the Lord who gives me strength. I would not have made it this far with out Him. He sustains me minute by minute. It is a constant battle.

Please pray,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-21-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna just finished with her bone marrow transplant. She is still sleeping, and getting fluids, then she will get a bag of platelets. Her platelet count is still critical. Breanna's doctor came in for a visit, and then told Breanna he wanted to show me the MRI scans. He said, "let's go to the conference room." As I've said before, I call it the "dreaded conference room!" The walk to the conference room isn't much better, all sorts of thoughts run through your mind, as you're following your child's doctor. As we sat down in front of the computer, he started pulling up the scans. I asked, "do I need to be nervous?" He said, "no, the scans look really good." He pulled up 1-17-07 and 2-20-07 and put them side by side. All the cancer is gone, except for one spot, it hasn't changed. A group of doctors are deciding if it might be something from her shunt, or cance r.

He feels confident in holding the chemo treaments for 2 more weeks. I asked about the risk of the cancer coming back if we wait 2 weeks. He said, "If there had been any cancer on the scans, he would have given her chemo today, but it is less "life threatening" to wait 2 weeks, then to give her "life threatening treatment" at this time." She will still need transplant support for 18 days. Prayerfully, everything will start to kick in, and her bone marrow will start producing wbc again.

When I went back to Breanna's room, I told her how excited I was at the results. I asked her how she felt. She said, "I'm not surprised, I told you I'm already healed."

Relieved,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-26-07

Good Morning Family & Friends,

Breanna wants to team tag this e-mail with me. :0)

Friday afternoon, Breanna's doctor called, he said, "Breanna's blood work came back, and she does have a blood virus, (Adeno Virus) we will need to treat it before she can get more chemo, most likely this is the reason she has not been recovering." Adults can have this virus and not realize they do.

This morning, before we left for the hospital, Coco must have known we were going to leave. She climbed on my lap and wouldn't get off!!!! I was eating a dill pickle, so when I was finished eating my pickle there was juice on my hands. I decided to let Coco lick it off, and then she discovered the bowl that had even more juice in it. I would have to say she loves pickle juice!!!!

My brother, Kevin, is in the Air Force and just left for the Middle East. We would like to ask for everybody to pray for him. Pray for the Lord to be with him, comfort him, and keep him safe.

Today, is a hospital day. I just got platelets, my platelet count is 6. When it should be between 150 and 500. Now I'm getting fluids, then I will get some medicine through my veins for the adeno virus, and then more fluids. I am very, very, very, itchy right now. Even my knees itch!! The pain killer that they give me makes my entire body itch, then I have to take benadryl.

My mom might let me get a stud in my ear, I've always wanted one of those. She said, since I'm fighting so hard through this cancer and chemo, I can have one, if I keep eating and drinking. (I do not believe in bribing kids in any way. Battling cancer and chemo changes the way you think. You would do anything to get your child to eat and drink. By the way, I can't stand those stud earrings!!!!! ~Tami~)

Thank you for your prayers and e-mails. My mom reads them to me, you would be surprised how much they comfort me. Thanks for the cards, most of the cards we receive are from people we don't know. They will write Breanna the kindest messages. Most of them say, "Breanna, I don't know you, but I pray for you everyday." A big thank you to the 2nd grade class at Resurrection Christian School, for making a giant Valentine's Day for me. It was very thoughtful and heart warming.

Please, continue praying, as we can feel God's Power through your prayers!!!! We love you, and send many thanks.

Love, Breanna & Tami

Top of Page Update:3-5-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna had a great weekend!!! She is eating, and working on drinking. She was excited to see part of her family. She wasn't allowed to see everyone, since she is still needing to be isolated from people. Her little puppy, Coco, is the best medicine for her. :0)

Currently, we are in the infusion room at Children's. Breanna is sleeping, she is wearing her bubble gum pink beanie with the Bronco's logo on front. She is receiving her anti-viral meds through her broviac, then she will have another hour of fluids. Praise God, her platelets are 33, so she is off the critical list!!! Her wbc is 2.2, she is now considered recovered!! We are currently waiting for the results of the blood virus. If it is gone she will resume triple high dose chemo this Wed., and have another bone marrow transplant on Monday. If the virus isn't gone, we will wait until Monday to start the chemo.

We won't know what Breanna's road map (that's what the medical staff calls it) is until 3:00 p.m. today. As I am watching my precious girl sleep, and waiting for the blood results. I am comforted in knowing that the Lord already knows what Breanna's road map is. He is the one who is in control. Knowing this is the only thing that gets our family through this terrible nightmare, that is a constant battle.

This weekend, I was thinking of everything we have gone through. Spiritual warfare is very, very real. I remember a conversation that I had with a friend of the family, Doris, I've known her since I was 5 years old. She is an extremely strong Christian. Twenty two years ago she told me, "Tami, the Lord is preparing you for spiritual warfare." I remember thinking, " I don't think soooo, I'm not that strong, I'll just stay in the choir and teach Sunday school." September 2005, Doris told me, "The Lord is going to use Breanna to witness, and bring people to Christ. She has such a strong faith, for such a young girl." October 18, 2005, Breanna was diagnosed with brain and spinal cancer - stage 4. Most of the cards, letters, and e-mails that Breanna receives, communicate how they have become closer to the Lord. People, are turning their lives around, realizing how precious li fe is, how precious Christ is. People are giving their hearts to the Lord Jesus.

Thankful,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-9-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Finally, after waiting a week for Breanna's blood work, we have great news. Her blood virus is gone!!! Her platelets and wbc count are still low, but they have decided to push forward with the triple dose on Monday. She will have 7 hours of triple dose on Mon., Tue., and Wed., and then she will have another bone marrow transplant on Friday. Please, keep her in your prayers, as the next few weeks will be extremely hard.

Breanna is eating, and working on her fluids. :0) She has a strong craving for seafood, lemons, vinegar, any type of acid food, as well as mustard (which she's never like).

Thank you, for praying for Breanna, and our family.

Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-12-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna, would like me to tell you, that she is positive that the cancer will stay gone. She said, "I have no doubt, that it is still gone, and will never come back." This morning, I told Jeff and Breanna about a scripture that I had read last night. She asked me to tell you, and that this is what we are going to do.

1 Samuel 17:48

As Goliath moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.

Our family has been concerned, as we prepare for Breanna's, triple high dose chemo treatment (which she is currently getting). We know what we just came through, and we know what we are about to go through again. Last night, before I went to bed, I asked the Lord to show me something, to reassure me, to comfort me, as we prepare to go into the battle, yet again. After reading this, I had such peace fall upon me. I knew that God expected us to, run quickly to the battle and trust Him. After I told Jeff and Breanna about this, we decided we are ready for battle, again! Breanna said, "This scripture has inspired me." Jeff said, "Okay, we know what we need to do. We will have all her medicine ready, and be on top of her mouth sores, and bathing."

Breanna and I will be at the hospital for 7 hours today. She will need to be bathed from her head to her toes every 6 to 8 hours, until Friday. This type of chemo comes out through the skin, and not the kidneys, which could burn and cause blistering. Breanna will have chemo tomorrow, Wed., and she will have another bone marrow transplant on Friday. The following 2 weeks are when she is the most sick. Soooooo, like King David, we will run toward this battle, and meet it head on, with the power of our Lord Jesus.

Ready,
Tami

P.S. One of the medical staff came in and asked Breanna, "Are you ready for the hardness of the chemo?" Breanna said, "Yes." Breanna then told me, "It's not gonna be hard, we're going to fly through it Mama."

Top of Page Update:3-16-07

Dear Family & Friends,

This week has proven to be exhausting. Breanna's blood virus is positive again. They think it was undetectable, but not completely gone. The first test came back negative, and by the time the second test came back positive, she was on her third day of triple high dose chemo. Had they known the results they would not have started treatment.

The problem is, Breanna being able to recover with this virus. She has two of her stem cell bags left. Breanna harvested her own stem cells (18 million) November 2005. They had intended on giving her both bags today, now they will only give her one bag, and hold the other one. Another vicious circle..........the stem cells need to graft to her bone marrow, the adeno virus doesn't allow this to happen, the grafting must take place before she can have the anti viral medicine. The anti viral medicine puts a hold on the bone marrow recovery. The doctors are concerned, every thing is on hold, once again. Breanna said, "Mom, we're going to fly through this."

As of now, the doctors don't know what her new "road map" will be. Breanna's mouth sores are kicking in. We will be dealing with the full effects of the THDC, over the next two weeks. This morning, as I was putting Breanna in the Durango, she slipped off her seat. I caught her with my knees, and arms. She will be starting her bone marrow transplant in 15 minutes (10:00 a.m.).

Breanna told one of the medical staff, "I know why I got cancer, there are two reasons." She asked, "Why?" Breanna said, " The first reason is to lead people to the Lord, the second reason is to make the medical staff laugh, they have such a hard job." Then Breanna asked, "Are you a Christian?"

Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-19-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Wow!! What a tough day. Breanna, has been extremely ill. She has both her lines going, one with saline, and the other with blood. She received one bag of fluid, one bag of platelets, and will get two bags of packed red blood cells. Breanna isn't keeping any meds down, so she will be getting them through I.V.. The hospital, Jeff, and I will be giving Breanna, some type of I.V. medicine every one to two hours, round the clock. Her wbc count is 0, her platelets are 9. Her ANC is 81, and needs to climb to 1000, before she can start her anti-viral medicine, for her Adeno virus, so that she can start to recover. Her mouth sores are very painful, and go down her throat.

The doctors are waiting to decide, what further chemo treatment will be given. They are waiting to see how and when Breanna recovers. She will not be finishing the triple high dose chemo. There have been other kids that have gotten THDC. They ended up with multiple organ failure, and died.

Please, continue to pray for Breanna.

Trusting,
Tami

3-19-07 Evening

My mom Tami called tonight. She said the dr.'s decided to admit Breanna because she spiked a fever. She will be admitted into the BMT unit (bone marrow transplant unit). Mom asked if they would be going home tomorrow assuming the fever breaks. The doctors said no, they think it will be a week. Remember these are the same doctors that don't want her in the hospital. Mom said Breanna will have to wear a mask while in there because of her virus. The virus she has can kill her or the other patients. As of right now she still has a fever and they are giving her tylenol to help break it. Please pray for her expecially right now. She is fighting hard pleaes pray that she have the strength through the Lord to pull through this. Also please pray for all the care givers, her parents, doctors, nurses, and all who are taking care of her.

Please keep praying, there is power in prayer,
We believe in the healing power of Jesus!
Tonja (Breanna's older sister)

P.S. Breanna told me she missed the sunlight. She said, "I wish I could wake up with the sun shining through my window."

Top of Page Update:3-20-07

Dear Family & Friends,

During Breanna's second bag of blood, she spiked a fever. They stopped the transfusion, and waited. Breanna's doctor was trying to decide whether to admit her or not. As you know, he doesn't like his patients in the hospital, but rather at the bone marrow transplant shelter. Her doctor sat outside the sliding glass door, keeping a close eye on Breanna. The nurse kept checking Breanna's temp., and they drew blood, and sent it to the lab. A fever in a BMT patient always raises a red flag. He is concerned, because she was only 3 days out, from her transplant. Her mouth and throat sores have gotten very bad, much earlier then they were expecting.

Jeff and I were waiting with Breanna, it was 6:00 p.m., and the infusion room was closing. I was watching the doctor's face, (it's interesting to watch someone, with that degree of intelligence, think.) I knew, when he reached for the phone, he was calling the 5th floor. He said, " I am admitting one of my patients, Breanna. She needs to go into the BMT Unit."

Breanna, is still in isolation. She is behind a total of 4 doors. The first set of doors, are when you enter the Oncology hall. The second set of doors, you stop, scrub your hands with antibacterial soap, then put some other antibacterial liquid on, and then put a plastic gown on. The third set of doors, lead to her room. The forth door, goes into her room. We have to leave our gowns outside the room, when we enter her room. Only one parent can stay the night at a time. Jeff stays with Breanna during the night, and I am with her during the day.

We continue to feel the presence of God. Through this nightmare, the Lord has been very close. We can feel His peace, even now. Our suffering is tremendous, but the Lord's presence and peace make it bearable.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Faithful,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-26-07

Dear Family & Friends,

I'm not even sure where to begin. We have been on a roller-coaster ride all week. Breanna's counts have been rock bottom. She has had several blood transfusions, and platelet transfusions. She is on numerous drugs, and anti-biotics. Breanna hasn't eaten for 10 days. She is getting nutrition through a TPN, which goes into her veins. They removed her heart monitor. Her eyes are yellow, so they are watching her liver. Her liver counts were rising through the weekend. Today, they seem to be coming down. She has terrible mouth sores, one ripped open yesterday.

Mucositis, is the side effect of triple high dose chemo. It causes you to vomit large amounts of mucus, cough up large amounts of mucus, and choke on large amounts of mucus. Breanna has a suction tube by her pillow, that is always running. It has saved her life, as she would be choking, and couldn't breath. She vomited mucus the size of her head. Jeff said, "When I cleaned it up it was solid, and didn't fall apart!" The BMT doctor said, "mucositis, is similar to when your skin makes a scab, only it's on the inside of your body. It makes a cast of the inside of your esophogus. People, will vomit, and think they are vomiting there esophogus!!!" Breanna, did in fact vomit that as well.

Today, Breanna had a bloody nose that lasted 40 minutes. Afterward, I started giving Breanna her medicine. I was standing in front of her, holding water in one hand, and pills in the other. She gagged on a very large blood clot. Coming out with such force, before we knew what was happening. I paged the nurse for help. She came in, I was holding the blood clot in my hand, (it was about a 1/3 of a cup). The nurse said, "Breanna, let me take the blood out of you mothers hand, so she can go sit down, before she passes out." Believe me, I did as I was told!!! Then Breanna started vomiting blood and mucus. I thought counting pills in vomit was bad, but counting pills in blood is worse. The BMT doctor came in, and said it was better that she got the blood out of her stomach.

Please, pray for Breanna's liver counts to drop, and that there will be no permanent liver damage.

Sick to my stomach,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-28-07

Dear Family & Friends,

We need you to pray for Breanna, as soon as possible. She has had a bloody nose for almost an hour. Her blood is not clotting. They ordered more blood work---Stat. They aren't sure why it won't stop bleeding, she had platelets this morning. They just ordered more. She has blood coming out of her eyes!!!! They told me it is from her nose. Her urine is a very, dark brown. Please, pray for her liver to recover. Her feet are swelling, and she has little bruises all over her legs. They are taking care of her, as I'm typing this.

Thanks,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-29-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is doing better, right now she is sleeping. Yesterday, her nose kept bleeding throughout the afternoon. She was using her suction to keep from swallowing all the blood. The doctors were there evaluating Breanna, and reassuring me she would be okay. It was traumatizing to see her mouth, tongue, teeth, and lips covered in blood. I was trying to talk softly, when her eyes started to bleed. I did not want her to know, what was happening. After 1 1/2 hours her blood started to clot. She lost another huge clot. The BMT doctor told me, "the nose is deeper, than what you see on someone's face. So it is able to hold a clot that big." He also said, "The reason she was bleeding through her tear ducts, is because of the amount of bleeding in the nose." He said, "It's kind of like when little boy's make milk come out their tear ducts." I told him, "My boy's never made milk come ou t their tear ducts." :0)

The team of doctor's agree that Breanna is getting stronger. They are still concerned about her liver, and keeping an eye on it. All the chemo, blood, and TPNS have aggravated her liver. Bruises the size of pencil erasers, cover her legs. Her feet are swollen, her eyes are still yellow. She isn't able to empty her bladder completely. She had 450 cc in her, after she went to the bathroom, she still had 400 cc remaining. They expect that Breanna will continue to bleed off and on for another week. Her GCSF (it makes your bone marrow produce white blood cells) has been doubled. Her doctor tried to talk Breanna into eating and/or drinking. She insists her mouth sores (that go all the way down her esophagus) are still too painful. With all of this going on, the doctor said, "she is doing much better, then she was 1 1/2 weeks ago." I looked at my baby girl sucking the blood out of her throat, and said, "really?" He said, "Yes, she is doing much better, and we are pleased with her recovery."

An extremely heartfelt thank you, to everyone who was, and continues to pray for Breanna. While they were working on Breanna, all I could think to do was send that e-mail as fast as I could. I knew we needed help, fast! The Body of Christ is Strong and Mighty!! We are aware of your prayers, and we believe that you are standing with us through this battle. I always thank our Lord for your prayers and concern. The Lord knows who you are, and I continue to ask Him to bless you.

Many Thanks,
Tami

Top of Page Update:3-30-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna had a tough night. She woke up a little after 7:00 p.m., screaming at the top of her lungs. Everything hurt, it hurt when she took a deep breath, and it hurt when she would yawn. By 8:30 p.m. they were rushing her downstairs for x-rays. The pain was especially bad around her liver. By 10:30 p.m. I was able to get a hold of Jeff, he was at Children's, and I was at Brent's Place.

Praise God, her x-rays looked really good!! Her blood counts look better. So why such extreme pain? Breanna, has an automatic pain drip, plus she can push a button every 10 minutes, and get more pain medicine. Breanna, is the only one allowed to push her pain button. She had been doing so well, they decided to start weaning her off the automatic drip. Breanna, had been sleeping from 3:00 to 7:00 p.m., so she didn't hit her pain button. By the time she did, the pain was over the top.

She is getting double doses of GCSF. This forces your bone marrow to produce white blood cells. Your bones ache, and can be painful. The nurse told me, "when the GCSF is in-grafting, and her ANC (blood work) is going up, these kids can have a lot of pain. It usually, means they are healing." Her liver is still healing from the damage, caused by high dose radiation, high dose chemo, triple high dose chemo, and swallowing large amounts of blood. Her urine is a dark brown, like strong tea.

Please, lift my mother up in prayer. While this was happening with Breanna, I was on the phone with my mom & Bob. The cancer in her liver is growing, she will most likely be starting chemo again. There aren't words to describe the agony of both, my mother, and my daughter battling cancer at the same time. My faith will never grow weak, only stronger.

Miracles Still Happen,
Tami

Top of Page Update:4-2-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Praise God, Breanna is doing much better!!! She isn't out of the woods yet, but she is on her way. She is starting to recover, her blood work is going up. Today, they will be taking her off her GCSF, and her TPN feedings. She needs to start eating and drinking on her own. They will begin to wean her off of hydro-morphine. She is starting to take more of her pills by mouth, instead of I.V.. Her bruises are getting better. The pressure of the blankets, caused bruising on her legs and feet!! The doctor told her to be careful, and not let her feet hit the end of the bed. That alone, would cause more bruising. Her liver counts are starting to drop, that's a good thing. They are still keeping an eye on her liver. We are praying that there will be no long term liver damage. The doctor said, "It would be serious, if the counts didn't continue to go down and stay down."& nbsp; We will do as her doctor said, "Take each victory as it comes."

Thank you for continued prayer. This is a battle, that gives little relief. I was buying groceries, and ran into an old friend. She asked about Breanna, and said she remembered what an adorable little girl she was, always running and singing. As I left the store, tears were streaming down my face. I was trying to get out of the store, my tears wouldn't stop falling. By the time I got to the parking lot, my legs were so heavy I could barely walk. I stopped pushing the cart, and buried my face in my hands. Broken, I stood there crying. A lady walked by, "are you okay, honey?" Without moving my hands, I shook my head and said, "yes." I started to walk towards my Durango. Tears still falling, I told the Lord, "no, I'm not okay, I'm not okay." Sitting in the Durango, I cried, "I'm not okay, I'm not okay, please, Lord Jesus, heal Breanna. Give Breanna b ack to our family. I don't want Breanna to be a witness anymore, I want her to be healthy, and to live. I want Breanna back."

People tell me how strong I am, this is simply not true. It is the Lord, and the Lord alone that gives me strength. When I fall, my Lord God comforts me, and places me back on my feet. Exhausted, my goals remains the same, to fight for Breanna, and to spread the love of Christ, in the midst of a living nightmare.

Standing on His promises,
Tami

Breanna,
I'm Lt Col Sonny LeMasters, the 22 Expeditionary Air Refueling Squadron Commander at Manas AB, and currently working with your brother. Kevin is doing a great job fighting the Global War on Terrorism and he along with the rest of the troops are having a huge impact on the operations. Unbeknowst to most Americans we are making a positive impact on the local Afghani's and even here in Kyrgzstan the military takes part in building orphanages and schools, visiting cancer hospitals and orphanages, and working on any projects to help the community. We have a very extensive program that reaches out to the community weekly. Anyhow, Kevin seems to be doing great and is even sporting a very ugly mustache that looks hideous but wears with pride like most of the rest of guys out here. I started a morale fund based on whoever shaves their mustaches owes a buck per week to the moral! ! e f un ds so we have some pretty ugly attempts to grow facial hair. We use the funds to reduce the costs for pizza every 2 weeks.

Manas itself is pretty interesting since we sit in a valley surrouded by huge mountain ranges. The peaks are about 21000 feet but I think one peak tops out at 25000. Keep in mind Mount Everest tops out at 29000 feet. It's so beautiful flying through the mountain ranges because it's covered with snow and there will be these towns tucked in between the narrow valleys. The capital Bishkek is about 35 minutes from here and has a population of 700,000. It's a big metropolis for this part of the world but about twice the size of Greeley, I imagine. Additionally, since we are about 100 miles from China most folks look like Chinese, Mongolian mix rather than the typical pictures of Russians. It's an interesting city but I have only been downtown one time so I need to go back and enjoy the culture.

I wanted to let you know what an inspiration your website is to my spirit and belief. If I had a tenth of my guys with your courage and strength we would have won this war 10 years ago. Granted you would have been pretty young to join the military 10 years ago and maybe struggled to see out the cockpit window but I'm sure you would have sat on phone books or figured out a way to see out the cockpit window. I could not imagine your struggles but your latest message on why you have cancer to be a witness and bring joy to the hospital is an incredible testimony. I pray God will continue watch over you and that you continue to feel His presence in your life and know His will. I'll take care of your brother and watch out for him. I know he loves you dearly and looks forward to seeing you after his tour here.

I hope you will write back and let me know how you are doing. I'll keep up on your website if you don't have the time. I'll lift you up in my prayers and thoughts daily.

Sincerely,
Sonny

Dear Lt Col LeMasters,
Thank you, for writing Breanna such a nice e-mail. :0) I did read it to her, she was very impressed that you wrote her. She had me read the first sentence to the nurses. She asked the nurses, "can you believe his title?!?" Breanna did want to e-mail you, but her mouth sores are painful, and it hurts to talk. If you knew how much she loves to talk, you would know how much pain she is in. She is actually on a pain killer that's 3 times stronger then morphine.

Breanna, is covered by the Grace of God, and remains a true example of a Christian. She does not complain or ask why. She simply says, "God has a plan, and He will work His plan." I pray for God's plan to allow her to live, be completely healed, and tell her story. It is agony to watch your child suffer, and not be able to take the pain away. We will continue to pray for a mighty miracle, from our Mighty God.

My favorite part of your e-mail, was when you promised to take care of Kevin. He is very precious, loyal, and has a heart of pure gold. The USAF was awesome in sending Kevin home, October 2005. He literally got to the hospital, a couple of hours before Breanna went on life-support. He told me, flying back to Denver, was the longest 2 days of his life. Being a night owl, he stayed through out the night with Breanna. He continued to do his college classes, while keeping an eye on Breanna. A nurse turned Breanna on her stomach, and she couldn't breathe. Kevin, grabbed her and flipped her back over. She ended up going back to PICU.

Before forwarding your e-mail, I wanted to ask permission to share it with the family. Also, I appreciate everything our military is doing. Thank you.

God Bless You,
Tami www.breannasstory.net

P.S. I don't like Kevin's mustache, but his blue eyes make up for it!!

Tami/Breanna,
Please feel free to share my e-mail. I shared the following thought with Kevin yesterday that I'll pass along to you. "Kevin, Breanna was in my prayers this morning, right now, and until she gets better. I prayed this morning that if I could swap the suffering for her I would. A sobering thought came this morning when I was praying, "if you could take the suffering of Breanna and put it on your child would you?" I was staggered by the thought because that in essence is what he did for us."

This thought hit me hard since I have a 13 year old daughter and 16 year old son whom I love with all my heart. It's easy for me to accept the suffering on myself but never could I imagine willingly doing this to my kids. I will continue to lift you and your mom up and I pray for God's healing touch. We have a package that we've put together and sending out on Sunday so it should get to you in 2 weeks. If there is anything you'd like from Manas AB please don't hesitate to ask. I was looking the other day for something with Betty Boop on it but believe or not it isn't the popular item in Kyrgyzstan. Any thoughts on what you'd like to receive?

Sincerely
Sonny

Dear Sonny, Thank you, for your prayers. Prayer brings comfort and strength, to continue fighting for Breanna. The Body of Christ is strong and faithful. We know that we are not alone, there are many people praying. I don't know how people go through this without the Lord. He is the only reason we are able to endure this horrible time. It is a tearful, heartfelt, thank you, for every person who is praying for our daughter. I am determined to witness through this nightmare. Your e-mail is being forwarded, thank you for sharing. May I put this information on Breanna's web-site? What a blessing it is, to know that Kevin has support around him. My heart breaks for him, as well. He must feel so alone, so far away from his family, during this time. Thank you, for taking care of him. :0) His birthday is tomorrow, the 31st. Please, tell him, "Happy Birthday, and we love him, from Colorado!!" Many Blessing's Tami & Breanna Top of Page Update:4-12-07 Dear Family & Friends,

We did not get the news we were hoping to hear, on the 10th. Breanna's doctor came into her room with the MRI scans. He said, "there is still a spot, that has actually gotten a little bigger." He has no idea what it is. I asked, "is it scar tissue, or maybe a shadow?" He said, "no, I don't know what it is, but I am determined to find out! The rest of her MRI looks excellent, but if this spot is cancer, it will be catastrophic!!" So that's the report we received, excellent and catastrophic in the same sentence.

Breanna's chemo injection into her spinal fluid was canceled. Her counts are still to low, although she is improving. They will check for cancer in her spinal fluid this Monday. She is still having blood transfusions, and fluids. How can this spot be cancer? It doesn't make any sense. Breanna received the strongest amount of chemo and radiation possible. This news has been another hard blow to our family. We will continue to trust in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I was tossing and turning, the night before Breanna's MRI. I kept praying, and then I would fall asleep, praying in my sleep, I kept tossing and turning. Finally, I fell asleep, still praying, I saw a silouette of a man in front of me. He was trying to comfort me. I knew Him, I was hugging Him, and touched His hair, I saw His left shoulder. I did not see any facial features, then His face became very bright. He said, "I've been with you, every step of the way." I knew it was Jesus.

I shared this with a Christian at Children's Hospital. I told her I didn't know whether I should put this on Breanna's web-site. She said, "yes, you have to witness, you have to tell people about the miracles you are experiencing. You have to share this testimony."

Humbled,
Tami

P.S. My mom wanted me to add on that the neuro-oncologist spoke with the neuro-surgeon and they decided this surgery is able to be done. We will find out next week when they both want to do the biopsy. From,
Tonja, Breanna's second oldest sister

Top of Page Update:4-18-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is back home!!!!! Her doctor gave us the thumbs up to move home. After packing and cleaning, we returned home last night. We will be going back to Children's tomorrow, for fluids, possible blood transfusion, and/or platelets. If her blood work continues to recover, she will have methotrexate put into her spinal fluid. Her counts have not been high enough to do this procedure. They are concerned, about the chemo interfering with the in-grafting of the blood. Her spinal tap was clean, it showed no cancer cells. Her bilirubon counts are coming down, so there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage done to her liver. Her adeno virus is gone, the sun is shining and the sky is blue!

They still do not know what the spot is. When the Neuro Oncologist asked the Neuro Surgeon, if he could get a biopsy of the spot. He said, "no thanks, it's too close to her arteries." As we wait, we continue to trust in our Lord, and pray for healing.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work," says the Lord.

Trusting,
Tami

Top of Page Update:4-20-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Another, sleepless night.

Breanna, and I spent yesterday at Children's, in the infusion room. As I stepped outside her room, to get another pillow and a warm blanket, I saw one of the medical staff. Breanna's MRI was scheduled in four months, they have now moved it up to 6 weeks. She said, "Try to make the most of these next 6 weeks, hopefully, the spot will not be cancer." Everything becomes surreal, when you're walking through this nightmare, and at the same time it cuts deeper, and deeper.

Breanna, was sleeping, when another medical staff member came into her room. She sat down in the chair next to me , mother to mother, we calmly whispered............ I said, "On the way to Denver today, I kept looking at Breanna. She was sleeping, bundled up in her vest, beanie, coat, another hat, blanket, and leaning on her pillow. On my visor is her volleyball picture, hair falling down her back, a beautiful smile, with bright eyes. She had cancer in that picture, we just hadn't found out yet." We both glanced over to Breanna, still sleeping. She told me, "you've done everything you could possibly do, and we have treated Breanna with all the technology we have, all we can do is wait." I said, "and pray." There have been many kids coming in, being diagnosed with cancer. My heart breaks for these families, they have no idea what they are in for. While tears were streaming down my face, I said, "they think the day they find out about the cancer, is the worst day of their life. Soon, they will learn, it was only the beginning of the downward sp iral."

Please, do not grow weary in praying for Breanna.

Nehemiah 8:10 This day is sacred to our Lord, Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Believing for a miracle, Tami

Top of Page Update:4-28-07 (2:42 a.m.)

Dear Family & Friends,

Forgive me, for not updating Breanna's web-site sooner. Please, know that if I am unable to update, we still need prayers. It continues to be a constant battle. Sunday, the 22nd, Jeff and I thought we were losing Breanna. She was white, her lips were white as chalk. She wasn't eating or drinking. Jeff and I went out to the garage, so Breanna couldn't hear our concern. What do we do? What should we pray? Is this it? Will she live? This is too, heavy! Why is this happening? Why is God silent? We love our Lord Jesus, why is He not delivering us from this torture? We have to keep praying, and trusting the Lord. Tearfully, I went inside to call the hospital. God, sent comfort our way. For when I went into the house, Breanna, was sitting up, talking with her grandma. Her lips were filled with color, and she wanted something to eat! A wav e of peace came over me, as I looked at her. I went back to the garage. "Jeff, Breanna is sitting up, talking with your mom, she has color in her lips, and she's hungry!!!" She wanted to eat wings. Jeff, left to get her food. I had Breanna call her grandpa, to let him know she was feeling better. Grandpa, why did you leave? I'm okay, now. You might remember, Jeff's dad suffered a massive heart attack, last fall. Jeff, came in the door, carrying the wings. Breanna, was ready to eat. She took one bite, and couldn't eat anymore of the wings, they were too, sweet. She ended up eating 5 nacho chips, with cheese.

The next day we were headed for Children's. Breanna, was to have a chemo injection, placed into her spinal fluid. I was sick, and would end up not going. Jeff, took Breanna to the hospital, for her chemo. This is the first chemo treatment I missed. Her blood work is getting better. Her platelets are 60, and her white blood cells are 2.4. Breanna's doctor informed Jeff, her body is becoming dependent on the hydromorphone (hydromorphone is 3 times stronger than morphine.) They are taking her off this medicine, and putting her on methadone (opium.) She will start the weaning process next week.

On the way home, she wanted shrimp. Jeff's parents and I were relieved, when Breanna called to let us know she was hungry. Jeff's parents were waiting to see Breanna, but had to head home. When Breanna got home she called her grandpa. Breanna said, "grandpa, I'm so proud of you for coming back, don't worry, I'm okay."

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work," says the Lord.

Trusting in my Lord,
Tami (4:11 a.m.)

Top of Page Update:4-29-07 ~ 3:29 a.m.

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna asked, "mom, what are you doing up? She pressed her watch, it said, "the time is 2:21 a.m." I leaned over, and kissed the scar on her head, where her shunt went in. "I can't sleep, so I'm praying for you and Grammy." Grammy, is my mother. She has been fighting cancer, as well. Nearly, an hour later, I decided to get out of bed and update her web-site. "Mom, why are you still awake? It's after 3:00 a.m.." I said, "I can't sleep, so I thought I would work on your update." Please, ask the Lord to give our family rest, and peace of mind. I went to bed at 11:50 p.m., hoping I would be able to sleep through the night, no such luck.

Thursday, the 26th, I planned to work on Breanna's update. I started to read my e-mail, and heard Breanna's intercom, beeping. The only sound was her clicking the intercom. She wasn't talking or crying into the intercom, she was only able to click the button. As I ran to her bedroom, (about 10 feet away) I knew something was wrong. She was completely white and having a hard time breathing & talking. "Breanna! Breanna, I'm here, everything is going to be okay. I'm calling Children's right now." The medical staff walked me through everything. They reassured me, "Tami, you did everything right, you're getting really good at this." I'm sure she heard the fear in my voice, and was wanting to encourage me. Breanna was having a reaction to the methadone, (opium) her system is very sensitive to all the drugs she is taking. C ancer, chemo, and all the medications, are a constant challenge to get through a day. The Lord's strength is the only thing getting us through each day. The battle is difficult, at best. but the Grace of our Lord Jesus sustains us.

Yesterday, Cassie read Breanna's update. She asked, "mom, how tired were you? You put Feb. instead of April." Puzzled, I said, "I did? Did I put the wrong date on the subject line or in the e-mail?" Cassie said, "both." That's considering I proof read it twice. A few hours later, I looked at the watch on my wrist. It was upside down, just like our lives!! If only our lives would return to normal, as quickly as I changed my watch.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work," says the Lord.

Only, by the Grace of God,
Tami 4:57 a.m.

Top of Page Update:5-9-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is doing awesome!! She is singing, eating, and able to have a conversation. God has given us another miracle, and we are giving thanks! :0)

One week ago today, was a nightmare all day long. It started, when I was taking Breanna down the stairs. She was terrified, shaking, and leaning backwards. I was holding her up, while talking her down the stairs. She started hyper-ventilating, and was stricken with panic. I encouraged her to concentrate, and not cry. She said, "you told me, I can cry when I need too, and not hold it in!" I said, "I know, I did, but you cannot cry right now, you have to concentrate on these stairs. When we get to the couch you can cry, but not now. Let's focus on each step, one at a time."

On our way to Denver, she was on the phone with her brother, Kevin. When I talked with him, he asked, "what's wrong with Breanna, she isn't making any sense?" She was talking in circles, unable to have a conversation. Her doctor said, "It is the methotrexate, we put in her spinal fluid, that is causing this reaction, along with the drugs." This was similar to how she reacted when she relapsed. Jeff, and I were attacked with fear. He called the hospital to make sure they didn't think the cancer had returned. Gut-wrenching, is a good word, to describe our situation. Praise God, this day ended!!

God's Grace, and your continued prayers, have brought healing to Breanna. Her blood work is recovering, she is getting stronger. Today, she is 100% better, then this time last week. Thank you for your prayers.

Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Rejoicing, Tami

Top of Page Update:5/15/07

This is Cassie, Breanna’s oldest sister. I have wanted to write updates before but never really knew what to say. This weekend we had some scares, and I can say that today I am honored to be the one to write this update!

Friday night was pamper Brenna night. After being spoiled by her parents with a foot bath and nail trim Breanna was feeling quite relaxed when from out of no where she said that her throat was closing up. Fearful of the worst, her dad began checking her pulse while mom immediately called Children’s. The hospital said to give Breanna Benadryl with the hopes that it would relax her and her throat. It worked! A little rattled from the excitement, Breanna went on to have a good night.

Saturday was an awesome day for Breanna and the whole family. Our brother Kevin, who is in the Air Force, is visiting from WA and what better way to celebrate family than a BBQ and get together! Breanna was feeling so good Saturday that she wanted to go on a bike ride. She took turns giving Kevin, her brother-in-law Marven and her dad all rides on the recumbent bike. And of course her little puppy Coco was in a basket secured to the back of the bike so she could enjoy the fun too. Saturday led to another great day on Sunday. Mother’s day was wonderful. Breanna felt so good that she sat on the back patio (in the shade of course) ate lunch, visited with the family and really enjoyed the beautiful weather.

That night around 6:45 she began to have trouble speaking – to type that seems like an understatement. Her sentences contained random, unrelated words, she had trouble pronouncing words and sometimes she wasn't able to talk at all, it was like her brain was getting stuck. It only lasted about 10 minutes when she returned to normal. It was very scary; we were monitoring her while mom called the hospital. Mom was so frantic that she couldn’t talk and the doctor asked to speak to Jeff. All of a sudden Breanna started doing it again; it was so scary to witness this. I immediately thought it was the cancer, because this was exactly how she acted the first day she was diagnosed with the cancer. The doctor said that we needed to get her to Children’s right away. Her inability to speak lasted until we got to children's around 9:00 p.m. We all rushed out the door searching for peace but still had the fear lingering that it could be the cancer. After a very late night the doctor said they would schedule a MRI for Monday. Breanna stayed in Denver that night with her parents….it was a long drive home for us, the brothers and sisters, we were filled with fear.

Monday morning we gathered at Children's for the MRI results. We were so frightened of what the news might bear. Waiting and praying, I told my mom of all the people I heard of who couldn’t sleep the night before and who stayed awake praying for Breanna. My mom who at this point was filled with so many emotions, started to cry. She said that she wished there was a way to thank everyone for all their prayers. I found this bible verse ~ John 13:35 “Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples”. This bible verse fits perfectly for that conversation with my mom. Your love for Breanna and our family and your support with prayers will bring you blessings as you are a disciple of God.

After what seemed like forever the Nero-oncologist came in the room – the first words out of his mouth were “The scan looks good!” He said – “In fact, this is the first time that I (he) could feel 100% confident in saying the tumor is completely gone!” My mom was so overjoyed she jumped up and down, started crying with tears of joy and hugging the doctor. We prayed and gave thanks immediately with the wonderful news! The doctor noted that the ‘spot’ they’ve been watching is actually a burn from the radiation treatments. He said that it looks like someone put out a cigarette in her brain. The radiation burned a hole in her brain; fortunately it is not in a critical part of the brain and likely will not have any serious effects on Breanna. Although we couldn't have asked for better news yesterday, the doctor informed us that the news did not change Breanna’s odds and that only time will tell. There is still not a solid explanation to why Breanna was having trouble speaking. The doctor said that it could have been a seizure or even several small seizures. Or it could be from the radiation burn. Regardless, it is NOT the cancer and this was awesome news, definitely worth rejoicing!! Thank you again for your support through prayer.

Top of Page Update:6-6-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna's fund raiser was awesome. Thank you, for all the hours of work donated to make it a success. Thank you, to everyone who donated items for the silent auction, and to those who bid on the items. We are humbled by the love people have shown our family. You have been a wonderful blessing to Breanna and our family. Your prayers, are what I am most thankful for. There have been many times, that your prayers have kept me going.

Breanna is completely weaned off all I.V. medications!!! She has been feeling better, with a few sick days. Water, or any form of liquid, still proves to be our biggest hurdle. I give her 5 hours of I.V. fluids a day. She continues to need the fluid support, in order to protect, and save her kidneys and liver. Her blood work is recovering, her immune system is still low.

My heart is hopeful, and heavy at the same time. Breanna's next MRI will be 6-27-07. Her last MRI was clean, and free of cancer. She has a 25% to 30% chance that it will remain clean, and free of cancer. Her doctor informed us, "if she does relapse, she will crash." We continue to pray for complete healing, and to be delivered from this horrible nightmare.

Waiting for a Miracle, Tami

Top of Page Update:6-7-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Fear is not of the Lord. Fear is constantly trying to consume me. Yesterday, Breanna, had a headache and her ears were plugged, she was also light headed. Today, she was dizzy. These are symptoms of a relapse. My blood ran cold, as I called the hospital. They aren't sure what is going on. They are leaning towards the medication, that she is still on. Her doctor wants to wait for awhile, before starting to wean her off another medicine. I am petrified of June 27th, and what the MRI will show. I keep hearing her doctor say, "she has a 25% to 30% chance of survival. Daily, I wake up, praying that Breanna is still alive.

The other day, I was snuggled up with Breanna. While she was talking with her daddy, I closed my eyes, and prayed.... Jesus, please, let me wake up. Let this all be a horrible nightmare. Let me wake up, let me see Breanna's long brown hair, her beautiful eyes, full of laughter. Please, don't let there be an infusion room on the 4th floor, don't let any of this be real. Please, Lord, please, let me wake up from this horrible nightmare. Then, I opened my eyes, and looked at Breanna, still talking with her daddy. I didn't say a word, just simply leaned in, and kissed her beautiful bald head.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Proverbs 16:1 People may make plans in their minds, but only the Lord can make them come true.

Broken, but not defeated, Tami

Top of Page Update:7-7-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Praise God!! Breanna's MRI was clean!! Her doctor gave us a schedule to start weaning Breanna off Methadone. He said, "she must do this very slowly." He pulled her off different medication, right away. Breanna, has been working hard at getting her liquids in. Her doctor said, "we'll pull you off your I.V. fluids, and schedule your operation, to have your broviac removed. We're not going to remove your meda-port, that would be too drastic, at this time." Breanna is very excited to get rid of her broviac. She said, "I had dad take a picture of my incision, and the two lines coming out of my chest. I don't plan on ever having another broviac, and I want to see what it looks like, when Jesus gives me my vision back."

We were so happy to hear this wonderful report. Breanna asked her doctor, "Does this mean, that the cancer is gone forever? That I'm healed?" Suddenly, the laughter and rejoicing stopped. Fear, came crushing in, and tried to attack, as we listened to her doctor. I looked at my precious 14 year old daughter. She was so brave, as tears streamed down her cheeks and her face turned red. I assured her that, the Lord is in complete control. Her doctor left the room, and closed the door. Breanna asked, Jeff, Sean, and I not to repeat what was said. What I can ask for is continued prayer. We still need a miracle.

Job 23:10 He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

Breanna's surgery will be Monday the 9th.

Trusting My Lord, Tami

Top of Page Update:10-18-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Two years ago, today, Breanna Rose, was diagnosed with stage 4 brain and spinal cancer. It was Tuesday, October 18th, 2005. The doctors at Children's Hospital informed us, that she would die in a matter of days. That evening our family and friends, were gathered in the Chapel at Children's Hospital. We all took turns praying. Jeff and I were on our knees, faces to the floor, begging our Lord Jesus to spare our daughter's life. I prayed for "victory and not defeat!" God, honored our prayers, and two years later, I'm writing an update, for Breanna.

Breanna's MRI was scheduled for Sept. 19th. The very thought of another MRI was gut-wrenching, to say the least. As the MRI date grew closer, the fear was growing unbearable. At this point, if Breanna relapsed, there would be nothing we could do. Her doctor informed us, that in a matter of months, she would die. Breanna has been doing so well. She continues to get stronger, and her mind is as sharp as a tac. Jeff and I decided, to ask Breanna's doctor if we could cancel her MRI. He said, "yes." We want to enjoy Breanna, and not know if the cancer should come back, until she had symptoms. Please, continue to pray for complete healing for Breanna, and my mom.

Psalm 124:8 Our help is in the name of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

Every day is a gift from God, Tami

Top of Page Update:10-19-07 Family and Friends of Breanna. We ask that you please join us in prayer as our family has endured yet more devastating news. This time it is with both of Breanna’s grandmother’s. Below is an update from both Jeff and Tami regarding each of their mom’s. We ask that you please pray for them and for the family as we continue to face these battles. We want to let you all know that we stand together with Christ on our side rebuking satan and all he has thrown at us. We are united and strong and we will not turn away from the Lord. He is our strength and he is our Sheppard, we will trust in him with all out hearts. Only through Christ Jesus, do we have strength. Please join with us and pray for comfort, healing, peace, mercy and to have joy restored in our family once again.

We love you all so much, and thank you for your prayers and support.

Tonja (Breanna’s sister)

Top of Page Update:10-19-07

Dear Family & Friends,

It is with a heavy heart, that I am sending this e-mail. We have been hit with another devastating blow. Today, my mom and Bob, went to see her Oncology doctor. The doctor told them there is nothing more they can do. The doctor gave my mother 3 months to live.

Please, pray for my mom and Bob. Pray for our entire family, that this terrible time of testing, and agony end. Pray for my mom and Breanna, that they both will be healed. The pain is so deep, watching my mother and daughter, battle cancer, at the same time. It is almost unbearable. I don't know what else to say, we are on rock bottom, waiting for the Lord to deliver us.

Love,

Tami

Top of Page Update:10-22-07

A person wonders how long these trials will last. this morning my Dad called to see how Tami and Breanna were doing after the terrible news of Tami's mother's diagnoses, My mother has been battling the flu. which has been lingering on for two weeks. This morning my mom passed out while coming up the stairs, falling backwards landing face first at the bottom of the steps. after arriving at the ER we learned the she had severe fractures and breaks to both of her wrists which took the better of four hours to repair. after hearing of all the plates ,pins and hardware needed for the repairs we also learned that the cause of moms fall was from severe pneumonia, her right lung is clear but the left lung was full of fluid. oddly enough the fall was an absolute blessing. Mom will be in the hospital for at least five days please pray for healing for my mothers situation and fast recovery which will require intense therapy. My family also asks for continued prayers for Breanna and for Tami's mother whom has just been given devastating news. thank you for your prayers as we continue to ask the Lord to bless all who have stood up in battle with us GOD BLESS

Jeff Martinez

Top of Page Update:11-07-07

short update on Breanna, last friday she blacked out on us three times, the doctors call it sinkapi.not sure what caused it shortly after on sat. she was having back pain with headaches and by sunday night they had gotten a little bit worse. on monday she still had back pain with headaches and this time a little bit of nausea. at 9:00 am she received some advil with no change and by 1:30 she had no symptoms or pain. at 2:00 we went to the chiropractor and told him every thing that happened. after testing her body we found out that she was out of alignment in her upper neck. THANK YOU LORD. please pray for her body to be super naturally healed

Top of Page Update: November 30th, 2007

Dear Family & Friends,

Grammy, started using oxygen today. She is sleeping more, and she said that she has gained 20 pounds, in fluid retention alone. She is eating very, very little. It is difficult, to watch her slip away, little by little. I will be leaving Sunday, and have no idea what I will say. Knowing, that will be the last time I will see her alive. My heart is broken.

She has mentioned, that saying good-bye, is too painful. Please, don't tell her good-bye. She would rather people say, "see ya later." Thank you for sending cards. She reads all of them, and they mean so much to her. Please, keep our family in your prayers.

Our son, Kevin, will be coming home, from the Middle East. We are thankful, that he will make it back to the US, in time to see his grandma. Mom, has been able to see all of her grandchildren, except for Kevin. She is looking forward to Kevin and Cheryl, visiting.

Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:12-6-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna has been sick, we have been talking with Children's Hospital for the past few days. We were/are hoping it's the flu, or a sinus infection. However, she is having a massive headache, dizzy, and sick to her stomach. I called Jeff, he is in Denver, and on his way back home. We talked with Children's again. Breanna will be on her way to the hospital, as soon as Jeff gets home. She will have to go by ambulance, we aren't able to move her, and get her down the stairs. I told Breanna, that I would send out an e-mail, for people to start praying.

My mom is getting closer to dying. Pray, for my mom and family, too. I am shaking so bad, can hardly type. Don't know how much of this living hell I can take. Why hasn't/doesn't God deliver us from this never ending nightmare? We continue to cry out in belief, and faith. We are at rock bottom, so broken, I can't imagine ever feeling normal again.

Pray, that Jesus does not take Breanna. Please, let it be the flu, or sinus infection. I can't lose my mom, and Breanna.

Love,
Tami

12-6-07 (still waiting for MRI results)

I wanted to share an e-mail, Breanna and I wrote. She is having her MRI right now. Thank you for praying. Breanna, is a gift from God.

Love, Tami

Baby Bear,

I love your e-mail, it is so creative!! I really like the scripture you have attached to your name. You are an amazing gift from our Lord Jesus, and I am so thankful for you.

I love you, Mommy

Mom i dont have much to say but you are so strong even if you dont think so.one thing is for sure.I Lve YOU AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE.cant wait to see you xoxoxox ~Breanna Rose~

"Yea,Though i walk throngh the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" Pslams 23

Oh dear God,

There is tumor everywhere. Breanna has 4 to 5 weeks to live.

Tami

Top of Page Update:12-7-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna, Jeff, and I are still at Children's Hospital. Our son, Kevin and his wife are flying in today. I want to take Breanna home. Jeff agrees, and we are making plans with the hospital, on what we will need to do. Jeff, and I have taken care of Breanna, for over 2 years. Children's Hospital has taught us how to give chemo, GCSF infusions, I.V. medicine, fluids, catheters (when needed) how to flush her broviac, and use heparin. We have done it all, except give her blood transfusions. We have cleaned up blood, vomit, diarrhea, mucasites, helped her when she passed out.

There is nothing the doctors can do. She's dehydrated, and can't have any I.V. fluids. The fluids would put too much pressure around her brain. I don't want Breanna to die in the hospital. I want to take her home, where her family can be around her, and her puppy, CoCo, can stay by her side.

Breanna, does know the cancer is back. She does not know, that they gave her 4 to 5 weeks. Breanna, is smart, I'm sure she remembers what her doctor told us. At this time, Jeff and I are choosing not to tell her about the time frame. We do not want Breanna to be filled with fear. My mother was given 3 months to live, 6 weeks ago. How can this be? My mom, and daughter could die at/or around the same time.

Leaning on our Lord Jesus Christ, Tami

Top of Page Update:12-9-07

While I was getting ready to push the "send" button, on my 12-7 update, a nurse came into Breanna's room. She motioned for me to come outside the room. I pushed "send", and went into the hallway. She informed me, that a couple of doctors would like to meet, Jeff and I in the conference room. As you know, I absolutely hate the "dreaded conference room". Remember, when I told Breanna's doctor, how much I hated the conference room? He said, "I actually, have nightmares about this room". All of the doctors, that have been involved with Breanna, truly love her. The nurses have been wonderful, the list goes on and on. Everyone, from the parking lot attendant to the Bone Marrow Transplant Specialist, have stopped by Breanna's room. Her favorite snack guy has been stopping by. The housekeeping ladies have cried. After spending all this time with the staff at Denver Children's Hospital, they have become a part of our family. We love them, and are thankful for everyone of them.

We met with two of Breanna's doctors, in the "dreaded conference room". Our conversation was heartbreaking. As I'm typing this, I realize I need to talk with Jeff about how much of the conversation I should share. What I will share, is that the room was full of tears. I looked at them, and said, "I just sent an e-mail, telling people how much Children's Hospital taught us. They taught us how to take care of Breanna, while she battled cancer, and now you are teaching us, how to take care of Breanna, while she goes through the different stages of dying."

We are getting things ready, so we can take Breanna home. Breanna, told me, "before we go home, I want to talk with (I will keep this person's name private). I want to lead this person to Jesus, I want to make sure this person will be in heaven. Breanna asked me, "Mom, what should I say?" While holding Breanna, I said, "Pray, and ask the Lord Jesus, to give you the words to say, and to speak through you."

Much Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:12-11-07

Dear Family & Friends,

God willing, we will be taking Breanna home today. :0)

Breanna, is temporarily, being pulled off I.V. medications, and put on oral medications. Her doctor thinks this will increase the time we will be able to communicate with her. Our time to communicate with her is very limited, around 14 days. He also said, "Breanna, could die tonight. Some of the medication will stop working, almost instantly. Without warning, she will crash as fast, as jumping off a cliff." She is on pain medication, which will continue to double, as she needs it.

As you know, Breanna, lost her vision, as a result of this wicked cancer. She is now losing her hearing in her right ear. We don't know what part of her body will be attacked, as the cancer grows. He said, "everything the brain controls, can fail, we won't know what order, until it happens." The list goes on, and on, and on.

My comfort comes from our Lord Jesus. Through my Lord, I am trusting, that though the brain may control the body, it does not control the spirit. Breanna's spirit is in God's hands, and God's Holy Spirit is living within Breanna's body. Both Breanna, and my mom, have peace as they continue to battle cancer, and face death. Though, cancer is killing their bodies, it will never, touch their souls. Death, has no hold on us, death, has no control, death, has no victory. That battle has already been fought and won, by the Blood of our Precious Lord Jesus Christ.

Upheld, by the arms of the Lord,
Tami

Top of Page Update:12-20-07

Dear Family & Friends,

My mother, Judy, is suffering from cancer. It is with a heavy heart, that our family, is asking you to pray for our Lord to have mercy, and take her home. This is a nightmare, knowing, that our precious Breanna, is not far behind my mother.

Grammy and Bob

2 Corinthians 5:6-9

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please Him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

Broken,
Tami

Top of Page Update:12-21-07

Dear Family & Friends,

There is a bible scripture that has accompanied our journey through battling cancer. Over the past 4 1/2 years, my mom and I talked about this scripture. Last spring, our family was waiting in Breanna's hospital room, what news will the doctor bring?

Cancer, what a horrible disease. Breanna said, "I don't regret getting cancer, as long as I helped one person accept Jesus. I would go through it all over again." Jeff and I would be lying if we said we felt the same way. We absolutely hate cancer, and what it has done to my mother, and our daughter. My mom is suffering, pray for our Lord to take her home, soon. Breanna, only has a few weeks to live.

As we pray and wait for my mom, to embrace the loving arms of our Lord Jesus. I am reminded of our familiar scripture.

Grammy and Breanna after cancer

Grammy and Breanna before cancer

Matthew 6:27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

My family still loves Jesus,
Tami

Attached are two pictures of Breanna and my mom. :0)
Also, Breanna was interviewed by the Windsor Beacon, and will be in the paper this Saturday.

www.windsorbeacon.com

Top of Page Update: 12-22-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Psalms 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.

Several months ago, my mom and I were talking about this scripture. Our Lord looks at the death of His saints as being precious. Humans look at the death of a loved one as being extremely painful. Our Lord looks at death as the beginning of eternal life with Him. Humans look at death and grieve the loss of their loved one. We found comfort in knowing, that Jesus is waiting with open arms, to receive His precious child, at the time of their death.

Today, my mother has seen the face of God Almighty. I can picture our Lord, with His arms stretched out, saying, "welcome home, Judy, welcome home!"

2 Corinthians 12:9 But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness," Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Covered by the Grace of God, Tami and family

attached picture is, Judy, a precious gift from God. :0)

Judy Kay

Top of Page Update:12-25-07

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna 2004

Merry Christmas! Thank you for keeping our family in your prayers. We continue to need them, and appreciate them. :0)

Love,
Tami

P.S. All attached pictures: Breanna Rose 2004

Top of Page Update:1-4-08

Breanna, has been doing very well, except for the past few days. Her body is now confirming what the MRI showed on December 6th. A few days ago, Jeff said, "Maybe, the cancer is growing at a slower pace." I reminded him, the drugs are masking her symptoms, but I still called the hospital. They said, "the cancer is aggressive, nothing has changed. Brain cancer is difficult to predict the out come. It can attack the body, in many different ways, at any time. Breanna, could fall asleep and never wake up, or she could crash as fast as jumping off a cliff, (those were her doctor's exact words.)

My heart cries out to God! Help, help us! Don't You see our pain? The agony comes from deep within my soul. Never, have I known such pain! This is more painful, then when our baby died. Why, are my mom and daughter dying so close together? I couldn't go to my mother's funeral, because Breanna is so close to death. I so desperately want to call my mom. Why, didn't the Lord leave my mom for me to talk to about Breanna? Why, did Breanna go blind, and lose her hearing in her right ear, if only to end up dying? My legs feel so heavy, so hard to breathe, and my heart is absolutely broken. I am begging, God to forgive us, for anything we have done. To hold our family close in His arms, and to let His Grace continue to fall upon us. It may sound silly, I picked out a solid red shirt to wear. I told myself, every time I look at my red shirt, I will be! remind ed, that my family is covered by the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, and He will get us through this nightmare.

Please, pray that Breanna will have a peaceful death.

I have this scripture on my fridge. There is a kitty, peaking out from a blanket.

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid I will trust in You.

Upheld, by His Grace,
Tami

P.S. I know, we are not being punished. Who am I to question the Lord? He is God. I will trust Him. No matter the depth of my pain, I will continue to praise His Name, above all names. Blessed, be the name of the Lord!!

Breanna 2004

Top of Page Update:1-6-08

Dear Family & Friends,

My heart is absolutely crushed, as I witness my daughter dying, before my very eyes. Breanna, continues to decline in health. Each day brings new challenges, each day grows more difficult. Over two years ago, Breanna said, "I want out of this!" I said, "the only way out, is to go through it, and the Lord will bring us through it." Those words are ringing in my ears. My family, and I want out of this "hell on earth", it is unbearable. I realize, the only way out, is to go through it. Let me assure you, we are not going through it alone. The Mighty Hand of God, is carrying us through!!

Breanna, is starting to come out of denial, and facing reality. I am unable to walk Breanna, anymore. I can help lift her, and pivet her to her walker. She has to sit down, and I'll push her to the bathroom. She almost fell, the toilet helped catch her. Tearfully, she said, "mom, am I freaking out?" I hugged her, and said, "no." She said, "so I'm not freaking out, is it you?" I did not want to scare Breanna, and tell her she is losing her balance. So I answered, "yes, it's me, I'm sorry." She cried, "I feel like I can't be trusted to walk with my walker. I feel like you think I'm too weak, and will fall. Daddy's not scared to walk me." I told Breanna, "I'm not scared, (I lied) I don't think your too weak, I'm too weak to catch you." Still crying, Breanna said, "You can fall with me, and let me land on you, like we did at Brent's Place." (Brent's Place, is ! a bone marrow transplant shelter) I told Breanna, "no, we are not going to fall anymore." Breanna, still crying, said, "I don't want to be a burden." I said, "you are not a burden, you are a blessing."

Atthached pictures: Breanna and me, summer of 2003, on our way to church. Breanna, spelled out "I love you" with sunflower seeds. July 2007 I added two sunflower seeds, to the end of her "I love you."
IloveU Sun

Oh dear God, how will I go on without Breanna? I can't imagine my life without my "Baby Bear Breanna".
Tami&Breanna

Love,
Tami

P.S. Thank you for signing Breanna's guest book, on her web-site. I do read them to her. Thank you for sending cards, food, phone calls, e-mails, etc.. We do appreciate everything. :0) I know the Lord will bless you all.

Top of Page Update:1-8-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Proverbs 3: 5&6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

This is the scripture we used, when we buried our baby boy, 6 years ago. We are still trusting our Lord Jesus, as we are facing the death of another child, Breanna Rose. We do not understand any of this, nor do we need to. We will continue to acknowledge Christ, as our Lord and Saviour, to the bitter end. Breanna will be remembered for her love and trust, in Jesus, her Lord. She has witnessed to so many people, and is a shining example of a Christian.

Breanna's health continues to decline. Her words are slurring, she doesn't have her balance. Jeff doesn't walk her to the bathroom anymore. He helps her sit on her walker seat, and pushes her to the bathroom. Yet, by the Grace of God, her mind is still sharp. We will put a movie in, and she will tell us what they are doing, or going to say. She can complete one side of a rubiks cube, and part of another side. Her rubiks cube is covered with different textures, and she is able to feel the different squares. I asked Breanna, "would you like me to say something for you, on your update." She slurred her words, and said, "I want to wait and type something myself. You can tell everyone how much I hate these drugs, they are evil." I didn't tell her, but it is the cancer, that is making her feel so horrible, not just the drugs.

Attached pictures: Breanna playing the piano, July 2006. The piano still had her cheerleading book left on it from 2005. Breanna playing the piano, December 2006, before we knew she had relapsed, for the first time.

Trusting our Lord, Tami

Top of Page Update:1-12-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Jeff had to carry Breanna upstairs, the last 3 times she went to bed. She has not left her bedroom, for the past 2 days. Jeff is the only one who moves Breanna. She is too weak to stand alone, or move by herself. When she sits on her toilet, she leans forward on lays her head on Jeff. Every day, she tells us she feels like a burden. I remind her, she is a blessing, a special gift from God. She said, "I just want you to tell me the truth, I'm a burden, I know I am!!!" I said, "I will not lie to you, you are not a burden, you are a gift from God, you are a special blessing!!!" She said, "I'm scared, why can't I talk right, why can't I walk? I'm not coming downstairs until I can talk, and my head isn't dizzy." Breanna's mind is still sharp. Last night I was laying beside her, as she was doing her rubik's cube. I was working on her 2nd rubik's cube. Again, she was telling me wh! at was on t.v., and what they were doing, while working on her rubik's cube. She finished one side, and part of another side. Not me, I didn't come close, and I was looking at it! That was last night, today is a different story. She slept almost the entire day. Didn't really talk much, was pretty out of it. Jeff and I were talking about her medicine, Breanna mumbled, "I'm okay, mom." I rubbed her arm, and said, "I love you, Breanna." She just mumbled, "hhmmm." I called her primary nurse, she told me to call Breanna's neuro-oncologist. He said, "she could be in a deep sleep, or about ready to go into a coma. It's very difficult to say what will happen." He informed me, that the cancer is all the way down her spine, and that is why she can't walk. The cancer is why her speech is slurry. He asked me if she was in pain, or having headaches. I told him, " she is very peacef! ul, no pain." He was amazed that she wasn't in pain. I asked, "what about her brother? When should he fly home?" He said, "If we can't arouse Breanna in the morning, to send for her brother."

Please, continue to pray for peace for Breanna, and strength for the family. You can feel the presence of the Lord, in Breanna's room. A special measure of God's Grace is resting on Breanna, you can feel it. Is there a scripture that talks about angels filling the room of a dying person? As Breanna grows weaker, the very presence of the Lord grows stronger.

Isaiah 26:3&4 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because, he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

Trusting,
Tami

P.S. attached picture is Breanna, when she was 4 years old. :0)

Top of Page Update:1-14-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Breanna is like a rag doll, she is so very weak. The only time she gets out of bed is to go to the bathroom. Jeff has to sit her up in bed, and then grab her legs. He then pulls her up, and turns her toward her bedside potty. I help with her clothes, and Jeff, gently sits her down. She then leans her head forward on Jeff's chest. Today, Jeff and I had Breanna sitting on her potty. Jeff was in front of Breanna, holding her legs. I was sitting behind Breanna, with my arms around her. This time, instead of leaning forward, she leaned back, towards me. I placed my cheek next to her cheek, and said, "I love you, Breanna." She turned her head toward me, and gave me a kiss. I will never forget that moment.

She is slowly becoming paralyzed from the waist down. It is getting more difficult to communicate with her. Breanna's mind is still sharp, she is aware of what is happening. She is frustrated with her inability to talk normal. She is not afraid, but feels embarrassed. The medical staff cannot understand why Breanna is not in extreme pain. It is only by the Grace of God, that Breanna is so peaceful. She has God's peace, which passes all understanding.

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again; Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your re- quests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Lord is near, Tami

Top of Page Update:1-17-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Dad, I feel like I'm dying! It was 3 days ago, Breanna, spoke those words to Jeff. Yesterday, I asked her if she wanted me to have her brother, Kevin, fly home. Her face turned red, and she started crying. She shook her head no, and said, "you think I'm going to die, that's why you want Kevin to come home." I said, "no I don't." Breanna said, "then why do you want Kevin to come?" Remembering Breanna's doctor saying, "never let her know why someone is coming, think of a reason, any reason. Breanna will be terrified if she thinks that people think she is dying. The medical community call it "death watch" and it terrifies the patient." So I said, "Kevin wants to come celebrate Cassie and Marven's anniversary." Breanna's dad walked in the room, and Breanna said, "Dad, why is Kevin coming, does he think I'm going to die?" Jeff looked at me, not knowing what to say. I starte! d to sa y why, and Breanna stopped me, "no, mom! I want dad to tell me." Jeff said, "Kevin, is back in the States, he just wants to come visit the family, before he leaves again, that's all."

Breanna said, "This is too hard for you, mom." I said, "no, it's not, I'm tough." She said, "I knew it would be too hard for you, you are scared." Jeff and I were snuggled up beside Breanna. We each had a hand to hold. Breanna cried, "don't leave me, don't leave me." The doctors have tried to prepare us for what children say to their parents, before dying. Children actually apologize to their parents for dying!!! Nothing could prepare us for what happened next. Still snuggled up, and holding hands, Breanna softly said, "I'm sorry."

Pray for the Lord to bring Kevin home at the perfect time. He needs to be here, with his family, before his sister dies. We don't know how much time Breanna has.

Trusting My Lord Jesus, Tami

attached pictures: Breanna, September, 2004

Breanna and Kevin, September 2007

Top of Page Update:1-23-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Battle weary, that pretty much sums up how our family is feeling. Enough! Enough, is another word, that I want to scream, from the top of my lungs. How much longer? Why? Why, our child? Why Lord, why if You are going to take my daughter home, why didn't You leave my mother here? I need to talk with my mom. Can you imagine, pain so deep, watching your child die, unable to help your child? Pain so deep, that death itself, would be easier! I told Jeff, "I can't do this anymore." Jeff said, "We don't have a choice. Wow, I just sounded like your mom." A few days before my mom died, she said, "I wish it didn't have to be this way." I agree, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I don't know how to deal with my mom's death, and Breanna's slow, drawn out death, just a few weeks apart. Our only strength comes from our Lord Jesus! We must continue to trust in ! Him and His will for our lives. We still love Jesus, and stand on His promises.

Yesterday, Sean, (Breanna's brother) came upstairs. Breanna is in a hospital bed, in our family room. She heard me say hi to Sean. She "softly yelled", "Sean!! Help me, please." He looked at me, and then at Breanna, "I'm here, Breanna." She said, "Sean, bring me down stairs, help me." Sean said, "Breanna, you are down stairs." Breanna, getting more agitated said, "no, no Sean, bring me down stairs." Breanna is more disoriented, and confused. Wait a few minutes and her mind is sharp and she will try to make jokes. We are desperate for prayers.

Battle Weary,
Tami

attached pictures: Breanna, at Bear Lake, July 2005 Sean, and Breanna at Royal Gorge, and Garden of the gods, July 2005 Breanna, hiked the entire vacation, full of cancer. Of course, we had no idea.

Top of Page Update:1-25-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Our baby girl needs your prayers. She told us, "I don't think I'm going to make it." She constantly tells us, she is afraid, scared, petrified! Yes, she managed to say petrified. Her speech is increasingly harder to understand. Breanna is having "air hunger". She is on oxygen, morphine 24 hours a day, plus morphine drops to help with her "air hunger", plus other medications. She will holler, "help me! I can't breathe!" Her mind is still sharp, and she is aware of what is happening. Breanna, is completely aware that she is going to die. Four different doctors talked with her about it. One of her doctors even prayed with her. :0) Breanna, relapsed for the 2nd time on December 6th. She was told about her relapse on December 7th. While I was lying next to her, on her hospital bed, she helped plan part of her funeral. As of now, she does not want! to tal k about death, dying, or heaven. We are respecting her wishes, and doing everything possible to help her. The term, "death watch" is what her doctors cautioned us about. It is when people that normally were not around the dying person, start to come around. The patient is terrified, that people are there to watch them die, even though the patient knows they are dying.

The other night, Breanna, was mumbling one of her favorite songs. "Jesus, You are my King." Then she changed the words. "Jesus, You are by me." The next night she mumbled, "Jesus, is in here." I asked Jeff, "what did she say?" Jeff said, "Jesus, is in here." The Lord is close.

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in You.

Matthew 6:27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Jesus, You are by me,
Tami

Top of Page Update:1-27-08

Dear Family & Friends,

"Good morning beautiful," those are the words I say to Breanna, every single morning. Silently praying she will respond, and have made it through another night. Her body has been beat up so badly. She told Jeff, "mom can count all my scars, without even looking under my shirt." I'm not sure why she said that, I've never counted her scars. The medical staff would ask, which side her broviac was on, or if she had a meda port, or a shunt, etc..

While typing, I'm sitting at my kitchen counter, watching Breanna. She was sleeping, but is now having "air hunger," Jeff is holding her oxygen mask, trying to calm her down. Although she is blind, I still put hot pink sheets on her hospital bed. She has her florescent orange and hot pink pillow behind her head, and a lime green shirt on. She has always loved bright colors. Her bedroom walls are florescent green, with a hot pink bedspread, and all the florescent throw pillows you can imagine. The most important pillow, is shaped like a crown, with 3 hearts, it reads, "drama queen." After the paramedics brought Breanna downstairs, on her way to Children's, and after she had been told she had relapsed, she asked me, "mom, do you think the paramedics liked my bedroom?"

Breanna is very concerned about the pain this is causing other people. She doesn't want Jacob (her nephew) to see her like this. He is eight years old, and can remember her healthy. Dylan, Madison, and Matthew, (her other nephews and niece) were babies, and don't remember her healthy. I heard her tell Jeff, "mom is so sad, this is too painful for her." I thought I was being strong around her, I don't let her hear me cry or break down. She is very perceptive.

Children's hospital, is shocked that Breanna is still alive. They cannot believe that she is not in excruciating pain. She is on heavy medications, but they thought she would have to be knocked out with I.V. medication. She is having more trouble swallowing, breathing and talking, rather mumbling. Her speech is like a severe stroke victem would talk. She can't walk, or stand, feed herself, move her own pillow, etc.. Breanna, will be peaceful, and then suffer with anxiety and gasping for air. She says, "help, help, help, help." Jeff and I pray for deliverance and cry out to God, "help, help us." We continue to pray for a peaceful death.

Love, Tami www.breannasstory.net

attached pictures: Breanna, Jacob, Dylan, Madison, Matthew, and CoCo.

Top of Page Update:01-28-08

I am Tonja, Breanna's second oldest sister. I wanted to share with you some of what is going on that you might not know from reading the previous updates. I was over at my parents house again tonight visiting and spending time with Breanna, and I realized there is so much 'behind the scenes' that people don't get to see. It literally takes both parents to tend to Breanna and her growing needs and demands. She truly is lucky to have both parents there and taking such good care of her. Each of them bring something to Breanna that is helping her get through this. Each of them give every ounce of energy and love that they have to Breanna. When my moms refers to the air hunger in her updates, it means that Breanna isn't breathing well and appears to be gasping for air. When this happens our parents are right there and talk her through it. You can tell that it scares Breanna (as it would anyone) and yet they are able to calm her down and restore her breathing pattern. They do such a good job of calming Breanna down and reassuring her. The love they both have for Breanna is so evident through their touch and tone. She often cries for 'help' but is unable to say what help she wants. None the less they are able to figure it out and get her what she needs. They are a heck of a team and the best care takers that Breanna could ever have. Breanna is still a sweet heart and is aware of who we are and her surroundings. Tonight I was holding her hand and she slowly pulled my hand to her face and kissed it. It melted my heart so much. Going through this and facing her own death she still worries about the family. She doesn't want us to hurt and suffer. I remember when she was first diagnosed we had a prayer gathering and we were praying for God to be with her and to help her through this. She however was praying for us, the family. She asked the Lord to be with us and help us through this!!! I still remember being amazed at how selfless she was. When Breanna was a little girl she would always beg me to rub her back to help her relax and fall asleep. She would also have me tell her stories and make up stories too. I would rub her back and play with her hair and tell her fairytale stories then she would fall asleep. Tonight when I was over there she was fighting her sleep like she usually does lately, So I played with her hair and painted her face. This just means to trace her face with my fingers and rub her cheeks and stuff. Within minutes she was asleep. It totally took me back to when she was little. She is such a special special person. More than anyone knows. I will miss her so much. There are so many stages of her that I am going to miss. I already miss the Breanna from more than 2 years ago. Our healthy, happy go lucky Breanna. The vibrant person that always smiled and loved life. But then she was diagnosed and treated for cancer. She became blind and frail, but remained to be positive and strong. She accepted the new Breanna and adapted to her new way of living. She inspired her family, friends, teachers, and strangers. I will miss that Breanna too. And now, the much more frail, and withering Breanna. Watching her slowly pass away. She is still so strong and full of love. She is positive and still inspires everyone that meets her. Our family is Christian. We believe that when you believe and accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, you will go to Heaven to live eternal life with Christ Jesus. Someone was talking to Breanna about becoming an angel and Breanna, still strong in her faith and love for Jesus said No! I am a child of God. I will not be an angel. Breanna will soon be in Heaven with Jesus, her Heavenly Father. She will be able to see. We have said many times why does Breanna have to be blind if she is going to die? Why didn't God spare her vision. For that question we will never know the answer. But think of this, she hasn't seen anything for over 2 years now. The instant that she dies she will be able to see and the first thing she will see is Jesus' face. She will be healthy again and will be jumping, dancing and singing praises. She will have no pain, no blindness, no physical restrictions, and most of all, NO CANCER! Soon, Breanna really will be completely healed and cancer free. Missing her already,
Tonja

The attached picture is of Breanna and I and my daughter Madison. August 2005 just months before she was diagnosed with brain and spinal cancer. We were on our way to Winter Park Colorado and were going over trail ridge which is one of the highest peaks in Colorado. I am deathly affraid of heights and while going over the peak I started to hyperventilate and have a panic attack. Breanna was so good to me and calmed me down. She kept me focused on other things and she helped me make it to the other side of the mountain. It is ironic because I am 11 years older than Breanna and yet she was my strength!

Top of Page Update:2-3-08

Dear Family & Friends,

What can I say? I am absolutely broken, and cannot continue to watch Breanna die. This is the most unbearable pain I have ever experienced, and there is no end in sight. I cry out to God, "Forgive me, forgive me, dear Lord, forgive me. Take this pain away, it's too much. Breanna is so scared, help her Lord, help her." And then I realize, we are not being punished. We live in a fallen world, and we are here to witness for Jesus Christ. I have always prayed for the Lord to "use me, and let me be a witness for Him." I just didn't want it to hurt so badly. :0) Sometimes, I question if God is going to crush us completely, before He delivers us. What I believe in my heart is, the Lord is in complete control, and He has a plan. Obviously, His plan is not my plan, but He is God, and His plan is perfect, no matter how much it hurts.&n! bsp; Ag ain, I asked Him, "help me be a witness, what should I say?" Guess what? I kept looking at a picture on my wall that says, "Be anxious for nothing" Philippians 4:6

Be anxious for nothing, while signing a DNR, instead of a license permit.
Be anxious for nothing, while watching your child die.
Be anxious for nothing, while buying a casket, instead of a car.
Be anxious for nothing, while picking out a plot and headstone.
Be anxious for nothing, while planning a funeral, instead of a wedding.
Be anxious for nothing, as we will bury Breanna, in the same cemetery as our baby.
Nothing, nothing, nothing, be anxious for nothing.

With tears running down my face, no matter how great the pain is, and how crushed I feel, I will trust my Heavenly Father, and trust His plan for my family, and praise His name, above all names. Blessed, be the name of the Lord!

Love,
Tami

Top of Page Update:2-9-08

Dear Family & Friends,

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me. Psalm 23:4

We have been walking (crawling, dragged, and carried) through the valley of the shadow of death, for almost 2 1/2 years. When you are living in a nightmare, the words from the bible are close to your heart. Breanna, doesn't talk in sentences anymore. Her last sentence that she mumbled was Wed. the 6th. She mumbled and asked her CNA, "are you a Christian?" She couldn't understand what Breanna said, so I told her. She looked at Breanna and said, "yes." Her mind is still sharp, she is aware of everything. Breanna is frustrated with her speech, if you didn't know Breanna when she was healthy, you would think she was mentally handicapped, from the way she talks. She is trapped inside her dying body, and trying so hard to communicate. She is only able to say one or two words at a time. Three days ago, she was asking for her brother, Kevin. ! Cassie , (her sister) asked Breanna, "do you want Kevin to come home?" Breanna, has been afraid, that if her brother came home, it would mean she was going to die, so she has wanted to keep him away. For the first time, Breanna said, "kind of." Yesterday, Breanna's hospice nurse asked her how she was feeling. Breanna could barely whisper, "sad." Breanna is only able to slowly move her lips, and whisper, "love you" when I tell her, "I love you." Her daddy was able to get her to eat one teaspoon of applesauce, and two teaspoons of tapioca pudding. She has only taken in enough fluids to swallow her pills. We can hardly get her to wake up, there is almost zero communication, she is very close to slipping into a coma. I crawled into her hospital bed and snuggled with her. She is almost completely paralyzed. When I was putting lotion on her body, it was like putting it on someone who is unconscious. I could have drop! ped her arm, and it would have fallen straight down.

I read two scriptures that really stood out to me. They reminded me of Breanna, and her witness as we have gone through this horrible battle.

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. Daniel 12:3

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? Job 2:10

Upheld, Tami

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9 attached pictures: While cooking, Breanna and I would pretend we had our own cooking show. As we added the ingredients, we would pretend we were cooking on t.v.. :0)

2-9-08 Part 2

Dear Family & Friends,

At the suggestion of two hospice nurses and Breanna's neuro-oncologist, Kevin is flying home tonight. They said, "if he wanted to see Breanna alive, he needs to come tonight." I called him and he was on a plane a couple of hours later. Please, pray that he makes it home, before Breanna dies.

The hospice nurse came over this afternoon. She tried checking Breanna's blood pressure four times. Her blood pressure is so weak, she was unable to get a reading. The nurse said, "Breanna, is only taking 3 breaths a minute", (The average is 16 to 25 breaths a minute.) Her heart rate is 58 a minute. Her urine looks like orange pop. She won't open her eyes, she's unable to take her pills. Jeff had to crush her medicine and mix it with water, putting the solution between her cheek and gums. Earlier today, I told Breanna, "I love you." She slowly moved her lips, and mouthed the words, "love you, too."

I keep thinking of the words Jesus spoke, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" One hour, think about it, one hour. Most people pray for a long life, many years (good years). As we continue to place our trust in the Lord, we try to remain faithful and not worry. Knowing, we cannot add a single hour to Breanna's life, and the Lord Jesus, does have a plan.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27

Numb, Tami

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

attached pictures: Breanna and her brother, Kevin, taken the night he left for boot camp, 2003.

Top of Page Update:2-13-08
From Breanna's Daddy, Jeff. Thank you for signing Breanna's guestbook, we do read all of the notes. Love, Tami Breanna's hospice nurse just left and Breanna isn't letting the nurse take her blood pressure. Her oxygen saturation in her blood was 84 and the normal is 92 and above. She is now presenting with hot and cold spots throughout her body and has a large recessed crease in the middle of her tongue,caused from severe dehydration. Breanna's cathider is filling with a cloudy gel because of the lack of fluids and i am sure its the main cause of her low blood pressures. Her palpable blood pressure is at least 80...palpable is what they do when the pressure is unattainable with a blood pressure cuff. They check different locations on the body to feel for a pulse, the wrist for instance is 80 palp that’s what Breanna was. Breanna has been comfortable and hasn't shown any pain. the last few days she started squeezing my hand again and has been asking for hugs. What an awesome feeling! .:)

Breanna’s dog coco has been more attentive with family members now that Breanna has not been able to show her as much attention. She will only eat if you take her to her food and the other night she was sitting on my lap when Breanna started coughing, Coco freaked out and went pee in my lap. During the day when its quiet coco will lay on Breanne's tummy or chest and look up at her face for hours or she will lay between her feet all snuggled in. Even her puppy feels the pain. People sometimes say how strong the family is, and anyone who knows us, know that we love the Lord...with that being said, as a family our strength comes from Jesus and in our weakness the Lord carries our burdens. I can’t speak for the family but as a father, the Lord has surly carried me.

For the people that had a change to know Breanna can honestly say that she has been an absolute blessing to us all, her since of humor ,laughter and personality. I have been humbled with her undiminished trust, faith and love for the Lord, in the ability to reach out to others in her pain.......I have learned to recognize the Lord in so many ways now and will continue to grow I'm sure......out of the mouths of babes we are told in the scriptures...thanks Breanna, for showing me the simple things....

Top of Page Update:2-17-08

Dear Family & Friends,

You don't realize that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.

Years ago, my Pastor had a sermon on this statement. Never knowing how much I would think about these words, as I wrote them in my bible. We are trapped in a nightmare, waiting on God to move. He is our only hope, our only way through this living hell on earth. Who can help us? Not a single person, we must trust and continue to wait. I am desperate for someone to make this nightmare end, to give us our life back, to makes sense of it all. There is no help, no 911 call, just sit and watch Breanna die, and wait for Christ to move. The Christian walk is not all sugar and spice, it's not a rose garden. It's hard, brutal at times, a battle that separates the chaff from the wheat. There is nothing special about Jeff or myself. We are simply parents, who love our dying daughter, and are trying to remain faithful to our Lord Jesus, during this time of agony. Our only strength comes from ! God Alm ighty, and not ourselves, we are very normal, average people, who need prayer.

Breanna is getting very little fluid. We give it to her through a 3cc syringe, drops at a time. She might have a small bite or two of soft food, but very little. Her mind is still sharp, very aware of everything that's happening. She is only able to mouth a word or two, sometimes whisper. She is peaceful (thank you for those prayers), her medical team cannot believe she's not screaming in pain, and that she has not been knocked out with I.V. pain killers. We know it is by the Grace of God, that she remains peaceful.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

2 Thessalonians, 3:18 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

This is my prayer, for everyone who has continued to pray for Breanna. Thank you, so very much.

Love, Tami

attached pictures: Our precious gift from God, Breanna Rose.

Top of Page Update:2-23-08

Dear Family & Friends,

By the Grace of God, I will try and paint a visual picture for you, via e-mail.

Two and a half years ago, the middle of 2005, our family was in church, two rows from the front, standing and singing......

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken I'm accepted, You were condemned I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me Because You died and rose again

Now picture, Breanna, cancer, chemo, life-support, going blind and starting radiation. Breanna, received the highest amount of radiation possible. Her doctor informed us it would most likely cause brain damage (Praise God it did not). She had radiation from Dec. 2005, until Feb. 2006. During radiation, she was able to bring a cd in and listen to it. She chose, "He Reigns, the worship collection, Newsboys". Her radiation specialist, is a Christian, and he would softly sing the songs with her cd, while she received her radiation treatments. I have attached pictures of Breanna's radiation mask. She was naked from the waist up, with her radiation mask placed over her and bolted down to a hard table. Scared, alone in the room, blind, naked, bolted down and in pain. And what did my precious 13 year old daughter listen to? Songs that praised Jesus........

Amazing love, how can it be That You, my King, should die for me? Amazing love, I know it's true It's my joy to honor You In all I do, I honor You

Back at the bone marrow transplant shelter (the first time we were there, 2005 & 2006). Breanna, was so weak, I would "pour" her onto the couch. I would start her I.V. fluids and mix her I.V. TPN feedings. While I was sitting at the table, doing paperwork, I could hear Breanna, singing, very softly..........

Amazing love, how can it be That You, my King, should die for me? Amazing love, I know it's true It's my joy to honor You In all I do, I honor You

In our family room, is a hospital bed, holding our precious gift from God, Breanna (Jan. & Feb. 2008). Softly, very softly, whispering........

You are my King You are my King Jesus, You are my King

and then she changed the last sentence......

Jesus, You are by me.

Jeff, was singing part of this song to Breanna. She can barely communicate, but she can listen. While Jeff was singing to Breanna, he forgot some of the words. You guessed it, our "semi-comatose daughter" started whispering......

I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me Because You died and rose again

If our Lord Jesus, takes Breanna home, we will have this song at her funeral.

Breanna's kidney's are shutting down, three different hospice nurses are unable to get her blood pressure, she is now taking around 15 breaths a minute, instead of 3. She has taken another huge drop, and has zero quality of life. Her brother, Kevin, will be leaving soon, he has used up his days. He has been here 14 days, as you remember, they thought Breanna would die before, Kevin, made it home. And yet, Breanna, is still here, alive with God's Spirit inside her body.

Amazing Love, Tami

Attached pictures: Breanna's radiation mask The song is, "You are my King (Amazing Love)

Top of Page Update:2-25-08

Dear Family & Friends,

This morning, Jeff, is unable to get Breanna's anti-seizure medication in her. This is after he has crushed it (1000 mg) and put it in a syringe. She will most likely have to be hooked up to I.V. meds, which will knock her out, and die within days. Breanna has not had any food for several days. She is not drinking, not even from her little syringe. She cannot be hooked up to I.V. fluids, the pressure from the fluids would kill her, almost instantly and painfully. Obviously, her urine output has stopped, and she hasn't had a bowel movement for 5 weeks (yes, weeks). She doesn't whisper, or move her lips. She would try to exhale, to make some sort of noise, to communicate, that has now stopped. Her brother, Kevin, had a very tough decision to make. He had a ticket to fly home, Sunday. Saturday evening, he started to question, whether he should leave. We prayed, ! and I t old him, "you're standing at a crossroad, and only you can make that decision, we will stand behind you, and ask God to give you peace". He canceled his flight, and stayed home.

I feel as though, I have failed to witness. There are so many miracles, we have encountered, that I have not shared. I have asked the Lord, to forgive me, for being afraid and not willing to make myself vulnerable, and appear off the wall. I have decided, if we're going down, we're going down witnessing and praising God. That being said, I will step out in faith, and share this miracle.

10-18-05, our family was at Children's hospital, taking turns with Breanna, in the ER. She was waiting for her MRI and they were examining her. We had no idea, that she would be diagnosed with stage 4 brain and spinal cancer. At this point, Breanna was unable to talk. One of the doctors (not her primary doctor), was examining her. Tonja, Breanna's sister, was sitting at the head of Breanna's bed. Cassie, Breanna's other sister was sitting beside me, at the foot of Breanna's bed. The doctor was talking very loudly to Breanna, "Breanna!, Breanna, can you talk? Breanna! Breanna, can you write?" He gave her a pencil and paper. He continued, "Breanna! Who do you see?" She was looking at the foot of her bed. "Do you know who they are? Can you write their names down?" She wrote a name. He then said, "who else do you see?" She looked at Cassie and myself, and wrote down another name. He then asked, Tonja, "are these the right names?" Tonja, looked at the paper, and said, "Cassie is right, and then told Cassie and I to come see what else she had written. Tonja said, "look, Breanna wrote Cassie, look at the other name Breanna wrote. She wrote, Messiah." It's kind of funny, because, the 3 of us looked at the foot of the bed. The doctor circled, Cassie's name, and put an x mark over the name, Messiah.

The next day, Breanna, was able to talk. Tonja, Cassie, and I were so excited to tell her what had happened, and ask her what she saw. We thought, how awesome, she will tell us what Jesus looked like. We told Breanna everything. Waiting on pins and needles for her to speak, she said, "wow! I don't remember a thing."

Love,
Tami

attached pictures: Breanna's rubiks cube. She could finish one to two sides, simply be feeling the textures.

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Top of Page Update:2-27-08

Dear Family & Friends,

And blessed be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed be Your name

This song has been playing in my mind, as Jeff and I go through the motions of preparing to bury Breanna. When the kind men, from the funeral home, came to pick up Breanna. I immediately realized, one of the men, was the same man who picked up my baby's body, 6 1/2 years ago. They were so gentle with Breanna's body. Taking extra care of her, as our family watched them prepare Breanna. They placed a beautiful crushed blue velvet blanket over Breanna, and gave us time to cry and say good-bye. Our family, stood on the front porch as we watched them load her body, and carefully drive off. The snow was softly falling, as we continued to watch them drive between the houses.

When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name

Knowing, how tough today would be, as we needed to make funeral arrangements. I told Jeff, "I'm wearing red, to remind me that we are covered by the blood of Jesus. He said, "my only red shirt, is a work shirt." I told him, "that's okay, just look at my red shirt when it gets to tough, and remember, we are covered by the blood of Jesus. We headed to the funeral home, had lunch, and then went to the cemetery, to pick out Breanna's plot.

You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name I will bless Your name, Lord

They wanted to know if we wanted Breanna buried by the baby. We said, "no, we would like her by Trinity (she went to Trinity Lutheran School, K through 6th grade). We started walking through the cemetery, she showed us markers. She asked, "how is this?" Jeff said, "we would like her closer to Trinity." We kept walking, she asked, "there are some markers here." I said, "we would like Breanna to be as close to Trinity as possible. We started walking, and stopped by the fence, next to Trinity. For some reason, it brought comfort knowing Breanna will have her elementary school right next to her, and Jeff and me on her other side.

You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name I will bless Your name, Lord

As this song continues to go through my mind, I am reminded of how many times, Breanna sang this song. One of the times, in 2006, we were on our way to NCMC for her PT. We were listening to this song, she stopped singing, and said, "this song is so true." I asked, "what do you mean?" Breanna said, "you give and take away, is so true. Jesus, will give me my vision back, and He will take away the cancer." And that He did, she is 100% healed.

Thank you for praying. The weight of this is overwhelming, crushing in, shock, disbelief and numb. I feel as though I could panic at any moment. It is difficult to stand and walk, but yet I can't stop pacing. I ran a solid red light, tonight. Not pink, not a little red, but a solid red light! As painful as this is, the presence of our Lord is warm and peaceful, in the middle of our agony.

And blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name

Love, Tami

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Attached picture: Breanna Rose July 4th, 2005

Top of Page Update:11/25/2008

Dear Family & Friends,

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for you and what a blessing you have been in my life. I am thankful for your love and prayers. I am thankful that our Lord has blessed me with family & friends, loyal and true family & friends. I am thankful that you stood by me w/Breanna and my mom, you fell on your knees w/me in prayer. I am thankful for I know our Lord will bless you, you are awesome! I am thankful for I know our Lord will carry us through this holiday season, as everything is the first time without my mom & my precious Breanna Rose.

To say, "I love you" sounds so cliche. Please, hear this from my heart, "I love you and I am blessed to have you in my life."

Thankful, Tami

P.S. Okay, so I'm also sending some funny pictures, in hopes of bringing a smile to your face. :0)

Top of Page Update:11/27/2008

We made it!!!!!!! Jacob and I finished the 5K, yahooooo. When we started out, I told Jacob, "you set the pace and I'll keep up with you." Have you ever tried to run with an 8 year old? They're fast. About a mile and a half into the race, I was encouraging Jakey, "it's all down hill from here, it's easier to run down hill." An older man passes us and said to Jacob, "it all feels uphill to me, too, buddy!" Then about two miles in, an older woman passes us and asked Jacob, "carry me the rest of the way, please, I'm begging you!!" Jacob said, "no, I'm only 8 years old." Another lady pats Jacob on the shoulder and said, "you're doing a great job." About 2.2 miles, I was telling Jacob, "we're almost there, about 7 more minutes, if we keep this pace." Another older man, laughs and said, "I bet you tell him that when you're in the car, all the time."&! nbsp; 2 .5 miles, I whispered and encouraged Jacob, "come on Jakey, let's pass that girl!" Finally, "Jacob, there's the finish line, let's run as fast as we can through it!!!" High fives all the way!! I said, " I'm glad my first race was with you and your first race was with me, we will always remember this day. Do you want to run the Boulder, Boulder?" Jacob said, "how far is the Boulder, Boulder?" I said, "10K, twice as far as this one, but it's warmer, we can start recruiting people right now."

Jacob wanted to come home with me. He asked, "Can I take a bath in your bathtub and turn the jets on?" So I put watermelon bubbles in the water and told him to put his swimsuit on, that way I could visit with him. He turned the jets on and bubbles went everywhere!! I quickly got the job of scooping the bubbles. Once the bubbles were gone he asked, "can I turn the jets back on?" Sure, and here come the bubbles. Jacob said, "I love this, this is the best Thanksgiving ever, no wonder people are thankful." I was so happy watching my grandson play in the bubbles and at the same time so sad, missing Breanna and my mom. The absence of their presence is very strong, the grief is so very deep. And yet, we must continue to step back into life with the living. Jacob, leaned back and put his arms on the arm rests and a! sked me , "Grammy, what are these for?" I said, "exactly what you're using them for." Still leaning back in the bubbles, Jacob said, "Aahhhh, this is the life!"

Happy Thanksgiving!!

All my love,
Tami

Breanna updates

Update Date's

Random Image